To lead others to Jesus, we must first learn how to listen well. 

Proverbs 18:13 reminds us that if we jump to answer someone before we even listen, that is foolishness and shame.

3 tips to help us become better listeners

1. Make the other person feel “safe” 

Hold back our own opinions and thoughts first, so that others are comfortable to share what is going on in their lives or what they are thinking about. This creates a “safe space” for them to open up to you without feeling like they are being judged.

2. Put the other person first 

Avoid rushing into a conversation with our personal stories and telling the person what we know or have learnt before. Instead, give them all of our attention and care, so that they would be encouraged to share even more. 

When we put the other person first, we show an interest in their lives. We can do this by asking simple questions such as: “Tell me more about …” to show that we are really listening to them, and that their sharing is important to us. 

3. Remember our aim – point others to God

Listening well to others may give us the chance to lead them towards God. 

If we have been creating a “safe space” for others and have learnt to listen to their struggles, then one day we might be able to turn their attention to how God sees their situation.  

Remember that having good listening skills is not the goal. Rather, our goal is to “encourage and build one another up” (1 Thessalonians 5:11). 

We humble ourselves to hear what is on the hearts of others, so that we can point them to who they really need – a God who is holy, but one who is also compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and rich in love and faithfulness. 

Discuss

1. Do you think you are a good listener? How often do you speak without first listening? 

2. Which of these 3 tips do you find the hardest to do and why? What can you do to help yourself become better at listening well?

Pray

1. Pray that God will help you to see others through His eyes – to see every person as someone who is created by God and deeply loved by Him. 

2. Pray that God will give you the patience, self-control, grace and wisdom to listen well and to point others to Jesus.