Valentine’s Day is around the corner. It is a day when romantic love and friendship are commonly celebrated. Lovers take this day to express their love with gifts and greetings.

We make much of love on Valentine’s Day. But what exactly is love? The cultural view is primarily romantic love – love that makes us feel good. Or erotic love – love that fulfils our sexual desires.

God’s Word defines love for us. Believers understand that God is love (1 John 4:8). God’s nature and character is love, and He acts out of this love.

But what does God’s love in action look like?

The apostle John, in his letter of 1 John to the churches in Asia Minor (around modern-day Turkey), writes:

“In this is love, not that we have loved God but that He loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” (1 John 4:10-11) 

These two verses describe “In this is love” (1 John 4:10a).

1. Love is not transactional

“Not that we have loved God but that he loved us.” (1 John 4:10b)

God did not love us because we loved Him.

Instead, God decided to set His love on us even before we loved Him.

In loving us, God is not seeking to be loved nor responding in quid pro quo.

How different this is from much of the love we see in the world.

When we act in “love”, we often have expectations or demands that the beloved responds in a particular manner.

For example, we treat our romantic partner to dinner, expecting her to respond with appreciation and affirmation. And when they don’t, we get upset.

However, God first loved us.

2. Love acts sacrificially

God acts in love and “sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.” (1 John 4:10c).

Propitiation is a good old Bible word. It means turning away God’s wrath by offering a sacrifice.

God sent his Son, Jesus Christ, as a sacrifice, turning away God’s wrath against our sins. God is a Holy God, and God’s response against sins is righteous anger against our sins.

Some Bible versions translate the word propitiation as “atoning sacrifice” – a sacrifice that makes us “at one” with God (reconciles us to God).

God set His love on us and, in loving us, acts sacrificially. He sent Jesus Christ to die on the cross as a sacrifice to turn away His wrath against our sins and reconcile us to Himself.

Love acts and gives sacrificially at great cost to the giver. This kind of love is difficult for us to live out. We often calculate the price when we act. 

Let’s not overcommit, we think to ourselves, for it may not be worth it.

God is not like that. God acted sacrificially when He loved us.

3. Love does not depend on the lovability of the beloved

 “… For our sins.” (1 John 4:10c)

And finally, God loved us not because we were lovable. We were in our sins.

As Ephesians 2:1-2 tells us, we were dead in our sins and acted in disobedience, rebelling against God.

God first loved us even though we were not lovable because we were in sin, going against God. It is not as though God went: “Ah, so adorable! I will love him or her.” 

Again, this is so counter-cultural. We often love someone because the person appeals to us in some way.

Yes, we can be initially attracted because of someone’s looks or initial behaviour. But looks fade and, when we are married and spending 24/7 together, we will become aware of our partner, warts and all.

God first loved us and acted sacrificially, even though we were not lovable.

And the response the apostle John wants from us?

“Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.”(1 John 4:11).

John is writing here to believers in the church. We love because God has loved us. We love because God has done something in us. God’s love has caused a change of heart.

1 John 4:7 tells us a person who truly loves is “born of God”. 1 John. 4:13 says God “has given us of his Spirit”. And 1 John 4:15 tells us “Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in Him”.

When we place our faith in Jesus Christ, the Son of God, given to us as a propitiation for our sins, God’s Spirit comes to dwell in us. This indwelling, abiding Holy Spirit will cause us to be born of God. We will get renewed, changed in our hearts so that we can genuinely grow to love God and others as God loves us.

So beloved, do you want to love others as God does? Repent of your sins, trust in the finished work of Jesus Christ as the propitiation for our sins, and receive the Spirit of Christ who will dwell with us. And with changed hearts, love one another!

Love as God loves. Do not love in a transactional way. Love sacrificially. And decide to love in a manner that does not depend on the lovability of the beloved.

If your partner, because he or she had a bad day, does not respond to your initial kindness, you do not respond in like manner. Love your partner as God loves you.

If your church friend has a need, and in meeting that need, you must make sacrifices, love him as God loves you.

If you have a church member that is cranky and irritable and hard to love, love that person as God loves you.

With changed hearts, learn to love as God does!

“Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” (1 John 4:11)

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