Cooped up with the kids? Focus on the Family offers stay sane tips
Salt&Light // April 28, 2020, 2:24 am
Photo by Tanaphong Toochinda on Unsplash.
Of the many acronyms this COVID-19 season has laden us with, the hardest to live with could well be the combination of WFH (Work From Home) and HBL (Home Based Learning).
With the Circuit Breaker set to last another month, Focus on the Family Singapore (FOTF) has lined up a collection of videos and articles at to help parents manage themselves, as well as their kids. Among them:
Set out co-existent spaces
In “Working From Home With Kids”, FOTF faces up to the frustration some parents might feel, because “distractions and interruptions can come more easily, potentially impacting our productiveness”. Among its 6R suggestions are:
- Ritual – of getting ready for the day, to shift everyone into “work” or “school” mode. This includes what FOTF calls a “pro-tip”: “Wearing pyjamas won’t help you feel productive!”
- Room – meaning designate exclusive spaces, with boundaries drawn, for parents to work and children to “sit for school time”. “Make sure they understand that it’s a space for them to focus on online classes and homework, and not for playing or other activities.”
- Rest – as in, take breaks together.
- Rewards – which is, give affirmation intentionally to reinforce positive behaviour – a FOTF dictum. One possibility: Plan a surprise for during the week when the kids are least expecting it.
Tame your emotions
In an article for Focus on the Family, Skye Tan handles the issue of control delicately in “Fight or Flight?“. She suggests that fear and uncertainty are best handled by parents first looking within themselves for their own anxieties and “making peace with the chaos” that this COVID-19 situation has placed them in.
“How we ride out this pandemic could well be one of the best life lessons we give our kids.”
Her encouragement is that their responses, if well-ordered, have a good chance of being mirrored by their children and developing resilience in them. (Proverbs 22:6)
“How we ride out this pandemic could well be one of the best life lessons we give our kids,” Tan writes. “How we respond to the fear and to the current unknowns will tutor our children on how to handle the many unknowns life will throw at them.”
Redefine the maternal instinct
Writer Tracey Or categorises her stay-sane tips for mothers under the banner of self-care in “Mums, Are You Feeling the Heat?“
Herself a mum of six, she writes: “I have learnt that self-care is not an option for us. It is one of the most pivotal things that we can do for ourselves, especially in our virus-stricken times.”
Her advice: Keep fit and active, eat well and prioritise sleep.
Also, a close circle of friends (Proverbs 18:24) helps.
“One very effective way of caring for ourselves and making sure our emotional tanks are full is to stay connected with your close circle of friends. These are the people who love you, support you and build you up, no matter what.”
Talk about death
The author of “5 Critical Conversations With Your Kids On COVID-19”, Elisa Ng, puts life and death issues alongside
- health and hygiene
- fears and anxieties
- country and government responses
- service and compassion for others
Advocating talking openly, she suggests that there is a two-pronged benefit in having these conversations, awkward though they might be at first: They serve to help children “learn that there are many ways facets to a situation” and are, additionally, a way parents can monitor their children’s stress levels.
To kick-start a chat, or to add depth, she includes possible questions to pose. For instance: “Where do you think Singapore has done well, or not so well, in tackling COVID-19? What are some personal lessons you can learn from what you have observed around the world?”
Her encouragement: “Despite the stress and weariness of this season, it is good for us to remember that what we do have is our family. Let us show them our love today, while we can.”
Counselling available
Joanna Koh-Hoe, CEO of FOTF, in a note accompanying this slate of helps, acknowledges the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual toll the coronavirus season might be exacting on families. She reminds the public that FOTF’s counselling services continue to be available via video calls. To connect, please email [email protected].
Here’s how to reassure your children that God is still faithful
Focus on the Family Singapore is a local charity with Institution of a Public Character (IPC) status, dedicated to helping families thrive by being a voice for Family. It partners individuals and organisations to nurture families at different life stages through transformational family life education, trusted resources, content placements and counselling.
We are an independent, non-profit organisation that relies on the generosity of our readers, such as yourself, to continue serving the kingdom. Every dollar donated goes directly back into our editorial coverage.
Would you consider partnering with us in our kingdom work by supporting us financially, either as a one-off donation, or a recurring pledge?
Support Salt&Light