Morning has broken, and so has Peter.

Normally, the cock crows two or three times between midnight and dawn. So it’s probably still dark when Peter goes out to cry.

His destiny hangs in the balance, along with that of all the other apostles. They have all sinned. Satan will sift out as many as he can before the storm blows over (Luke 22:31). Who will stand? Who will fall?

Somewhere in the shadows, each disciple faces his own demons. Judas meets the Giant Despair. Thomas enters Doubting Castle. Peter hears the incriminating cockcrow.

Each enters the crucible of his own testing that reveals what sort of person he really is. Each one must choose between faith and despair.

The difference between Judas and Peter has been the subject of many a sermon. Judas deserts. Peter denies. Judas betrays. Peter follows. Judas regrets. Peter repents. Judas despairs. Peter remembers the word of the Lord (Luke 22:61).

Judas goes out and hangs himself. Peter goes out and weeps bitterly. For the one, worldly grief produces death. For the other, godly grief produces repentance that leads to salvation (2 Corinthians 7:10).

For Peter and all who mourn, tears are a language God understands. Through ages past, holy men and women of God have prayed often and earnestly for the gift that few people want – the gift of tears.

It has been called the second baptism. Bitter tears sweeten the soul and soften the heart. A crushed and contrite heart, God will not despise (Psalm 51:17).

The opposite of despair is faith (Søren Kierkegaard). Peter survived the sifting of Satan by faith (Luke 22:32). He remembered the word of the Lord. He softened his heart with tears. He clung to hope as to a lamp shining in a dark place (2 Peter 1:19).

Judas, on the other hand, gave in to despair.

And so the choice that each of us faces today is between faith and despair. Not only in times of trial, but every moment of every day.

As long as choice remains, there is hope. It is not so much sin that plunges us into disaster, as rather despair (John Chrysostom).

This is the victory that has overcome the world – our faith (1 John 5:4).

PrayerWatch

• Turn inspiration into intercession. Reflect on the following quotes and pray, not only for yourself, but also for others you know who are going through a dark night in their soul:
   
  Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted (Jesus).
  Tears are liquid prayer (Charles Spurgeon).
  What soap is for the body, tears are for the soul (Jewish Proverb).
  Tears are God’s gift to us. Our holy water. They heal us as they flow (Rita Schiano).
  Crying is not the hurt, but the process of becoming unhurt (Deborah Macnamara).
  Repentance is a light that shines in the soul of man and guides him to the pool of the second baptism, where the eyes are cleansed from spiritual cataracts (Nafpaktos Hierotheos).
   
• Search your soul. When was the last time you wept? What kind of tears were they?
   
  Not all tears are good for us. Tears of rage, regret, remorse, self-pity, and despair may do us more harm than good. Not to mention crocodile tears, which may fool your spouse or parents, but not God.
   
  On the other hand, tears of joy, wonder, gratitude, holy longing, compassion, desperation, travail, and repentance do us great good. Weeping may last for a night. But joy comes in the morning (Psalm 30:5).
   
  Pray for the second baptism, the gift of tears: Lord Jesus, baptise me with holy tears that soften my heart, wash away my bitterness, and heal my shame.
   
  Grant me tears of godly sorrow. Lead me to sincere and deep repentance for all my past and present sins … 
   
  From here, continue in your own words. Allow the Holy Spirit to prick your conscience and pinpoint your sins one by one.
   
  Then journal your prayer of repentance. Be honest. Be thorough. Linger in God’s presence. Wait for the tears.
   
• No one is beyond restoration. No matter how deep or dark or tragic the failure, there is hope.
   
  Is there someone in your circle who has failed terribly and is spiralling down into despair? Beware! Despair is one of Satan’s most subtle and lethal weapons. Suicide usually happens at the peak of despair.
   
  Pray. Reach out to anyone you know who is in despair. Meet with this person one-on-one. Minister healing.
   
  Lead him or her in this prayer: Lord Jesus, I confess my utter failure. I have sinned. I am ashamed. In Your great mercy, forgive me.
   
  I turn my eyes upon You. I open my life to Your grace, which is greater than all their sin and shame.
   
  Like Peter, I remember Your Word. I cling to Your Word. I know You’re praying for me as You prayed for Peter (Hebrews 7:25).
   
  Therefore, I refuse to go the way of Judas. I refuse to retreat into myself. I rest in the power of Your love.
   
  I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me (Galatians 2:20). In Jesus’ name, amen.
   
• A Business Insider article reported that suicide is the main cause of death for millennials in Singapore – and most of them are men. Ask for a broken heart of compassion and the gift of tears to reach and restore youth-at-risk.

Read the devotional from Day 26, July 26: The gaze of grace here.