Why doesn’t God answer my prayers?

Has this question ever crossed your mind or passed your lips? If you are honest with yourself, the answer is probably “yes”.

Those times when, on bended knees, over many days, you pleaded with God for something you needed that only He has the power or ability to do … but you received nothing in return.

We question God most when we don’t get what we want.

Behind this question is the heart lament: “Why would God withhold a good thing from me? Does He not love me? Does He not care?“

Unresolved, this could cause us to doubt His character and, eventually, His existence: “Perhaps He doesn’t answer my prayers because He isn’t there.”

So why is it that God seems so benevolent and generous in the Bible, so attentive to others but so silent with us?

It’s you

1. Wrong understanding of answered prayers

When we ask: “Why doesn’t God answer my prayers?”, our definition of answered prayers may be limited to God granting us our requests. God’s idea of answering our prayers may not be the same.

When one tragedy after another befell Job (Job 1:13-19, Job 2:7-9), Job asked the question we all ask when bad things happen to us: “Why?”

In fact, he asked several “whys”:

Why did I not perish at birth? (Job 3:11)
Why have you made me your target? (Job 7:20b)
Why do you hide your face and consider me your enemy? (Job 13:24)
Why do the wicked live on, growing old and increasing in power? (Job 21:7)
Why do those who know Him (God) never see His days? (Job 24:1)

Through all of them, he simply wanted to know: “Why me, why not someone else?”

Did God answer Job’s prayers? Well, God definitely answered Job. In a lengthy discourse that spans four chapters (Job 38-41), God maps out His answer.  

But God never answered any of Job’s “whys”.

2. Looking for answers in the wrong places

Just as we have preconceived notions of what God should say in answer to our prayers, we might pigeonhole God when it comes to how He answers our prayers. When we do, we may miss His answer and assume He doesn’t answer our prayers.

The Jews of Jesus’ day were prime examples of this. They had longed for a Messiah since Moses’ announcement in Deuteronomy 18:15-19. But when Jesus came, they refused to accept Him because He was not what they had in mind.

They wanted a political king, He came as a suffering servant. They wanted their nation restored, He came to establish a new Kingdom. They wanted to be set free politically, He came to release them from spiritual captivity.

It may not be that God doesn’t answer our prayers. It may be that we don’t recognise His answers. We may want Him to move circumstances or change hearts. He may be answering us through wise counsel or Scripture.

3. Something blocking the prayers

Unconfessed sin

Isaiah 59:2 tells us that sin separates us from God so that He will not hear us. But it isn’t just sin; it is unconfessed sin (Psalm 32:3-4). That kind of continual defiance that refuses to repent hinders not just God’s work in our lives but our relationship with Him.

Unforgiveness

When Jesus taught His disciples to pray (Luke 11:2-4), embedded within the Lord’s Prayer is the idea that if we hold unforgiveness in our hearts against someone, our sins will not be forgiven as well. Mark reiterates this in Mark 11:25.

Wrong motives

James was quite clear in James 4:3 that when we ask for something with wrong motives – to spend on our own pleasures thus feeding the flesh – God will not grant us our prayers.

Lack of faith

In Mark 6:5-6, it is recorded that a lack of faith was what hindered Jesus’ work in his hometown. He could do few miracles there because they didn’t have faith. It wasn’t that Jesus wouldn’t work. He was hampered by unbelief.

It’s Him

1. He answers your heart, not your words

There are times when we ask God for one thing, but we end up with something else. It is only on reflection that we can see the hand of God at work despite the seeming “no” we hear.

Genesis 18:22-19:29 records Abraham’s conversation with God about Sodom in which he pleads with God for the fate of city: “How can You destroy the whole city if there are at least some righteous people there?”

Though it is never recorded in that account, Abraham must have been thinking about his nephew Lot who lived there with his family (Genesis 13:11-12) when he stood with God looking at the city. As much as he was haggling with God about Sodom, he must have been bargaining for Lot’s life as well.

In the end, God did not spare Sodom as Abraham had asked. But he did spare Lot (Genesis 19:15-22) which was likely Abraham’s heart desire. It was an act of mercy because Lot was not part of God’s promises to Abraham (Genesis 15:4).

God hears our heart even if He may not answer us according to the words of our prayers.

2. He has something better in mind

Sometimes we don’t get a “yes” from God for what we want because He has something else better in mind for us.

When Jesus delivered a demon-possessed man in the region of Gerasenes (Luke 8:26-38), the man begged to be part of Jesus’ ministry. He was rejected.

Instead, Jesus told him: “Return home and tell how much God has done for you.” Jesus had a different ministry for the man.

God always has our best interest at heart (James 1:17). When He says “no”, it is not to deny us. It is for our good.

3. He is training you

God may deny us our prayers as part of our character formation.

In the situation between Abraham and God over the destiny of Sodom (Genesis 18:22-33), Abraham had to surrender to God’s way even though it meant that the nephew whom he loved would perish. God was teaching Abraham that his desires must bow to God’s will.

The episode was also a lesson in trusting that God can be both just and righteous, and merciful. God in all His holiness could not and would not stand by and let Sodom continue in debauchery. But He could also be merciful to Lot and, ultimately, to Abraham.

In Genesis 19:29, the real reason for Lot’s redemption is revealed: “God remembered Abraham and sent Lot out of the midst of the overthrow when he overthrew the cities in which Lot had lived.”

Abraham would not be the man of faith he was if he did not learn these lessons. Perhaps that willingness to surrender to God’s will even at great personal cost was training for Abraham so that when the time came for him to sacrifice his only son, Isaac, he could (Genesis 22).

4. He is revealing Himself

“No” answers can often show us more about God than “yes” ones.

When God answered Job, it was not to give Job what he wanted – a reason for his suffering – but to show Job who He was.

When God did not spare Sodom as Abraham had asked, He was revealing His character. Abraham had appealed to God’s righteousness when he asked that the wicked be spared on the account of the righteous. Through how the event unfolded, God displayed His righteousness, justice and mercy

It’s the circumstances

1. Wrong time

When the Jews were carried away from Jerusalem into captivity after being defeated by Babylon, we are not told if they asked God to free them. But that would have been a likely scenario because that was what they did when enslavement in Egypt proved too tough (Exodus 2:23-25).

God gave them a “yes” reply to their desire to return home. But it was not an immediate “yes”. They had to wait 70 years. In Jeremiah 29:4-11, God tells them instead to settle down in Babylon and to “pray to the Lord on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare.” 

It is in this context that the often-quoted verse Jeremiah 29:11 takes place. God told them that the time for rescue was not now but 70 years later. He told them that they had to trust in His plans for them, that He would always have their welfare at heart even if it may seem like 70 years in captivity was a “no” answer. 

2. Spiritual warfare 

In Daniel 10:12-13, we are told that Daniel’s prayer was heard the moment he uttered them. But the answer was delayed because spiritual forces were preventing the angelic being from delivering the message to Daniel.

But God’s will cannot be thwarted (Proverbs 19:21). If yours is a prayer that is after God’s heart as Daniel’s had been (Daniel 10:12), a resounding “yes” will be your answer.

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