There is a saying that goes: “Parenting is the only job in the world where the goal is to work yourself out of a job.”

So true – yet so tough.

From Day 1, you have been The Boss. Your child pretty much eats what you give him, dresses as you see fit and does what you tell him. If he refuses, there will be words for him. Strong words. Sometimes strong actions.

As he grows up, he goes to the school you choose, his schedules are yours to map out and he mostly goes where he is told.

Then comes the teenage years when he begins to tug at the apron strings. The tussle, painful and real, usually ends in adulthood when either one of you eventually cuts these strings.

Your child no longer needs an allowance from you. In fact, he might even give you one when he starts working. He doesn’t need your permission to stay out late. If he is responsible, he may simply inform you. He may not even live under your roof or in the same country.

Your job is done. But is it, though?

There may no longer be much you can do to steer your child’s life, or much you can say to influence him. Sometimes, with an adult child, the less said the better.

But that doesn’t mean there’s nothing you can do. You can continue to pray for him.

What do you pray for?

While we can pray for them to have good jobs, faithful spouses, godly children and perfect health, we can also pray for something far more important: their spiritual health.

Here are 8 Bible-based prayers we can pray for our grown children.  

1. Pray for their eyes to be opened to God’s truth

Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 4:4: “The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the Gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.”

Like the minds of unbelievers, the minds of our children – when not guarded, not sanctified, or not renewed by the Word – can become clouded and influenced by worldly values. Then, even when faced with the Truth, they are unable to recognise it, much less embrace it.

Pray

Paul says a lovely prayer in Ephesians 1:18 that we can echo for our adult children:

I pray that the eyes of their heart may be enlightened in order that they may know the hope to which You have called them, the riches of Your glorious inheritance in Your holy people.

2. Pray for their heart to be soft toward God

If your adult child is unenthused about the faith despite your best efforts when they were growing up, you are not alone.

King David had his own prodigal son in the form of handsome Absalom (2 Samuel 14:25) who grew tired of waiting to be king and took matters into his own hands (2 Samuel 15:1-20).

Eli, despite being a priest, had sons who were “scoundrels; they had no regard for the Lord” (1 Samuel 2:12-36).

But Ezekiel 36:26 talks about God’s desire to give “a new heart and put a new spirit” is us, replacing “our heart of stone” with “a heart of flesh”.

The God who has the heart of kings in His hands to direct as He pleases (Proverbs 21:1) can surely do heart surgery on our children.

Pray

God, please soften their heart. Remove their heart of stone and replace it with a heart that is open to receiving Your love and truth. Write your law upon their hearts that they may follow you all the days of their lives.

3. Pray that they will understand salvation

Sometimes the young don’t live long enough to feel a need for God. They are healthy, have boundless opportunities and few responsibilities. They believe, according to their experience, that if they put their minds to something, they can achieve it. Why ask God for help?

They are not alone in this mindset. The Jews of Paul’s day were the same.

Paul writes: “I can testify about them that they are zealous for God, but their zeal is not based on knowledge. Since they did not know the righteousness of God and sought to establish their own, they did not submit to God’s righteousness.” (Romans 10:2-4)

They thought sheer effort on their part – obedience to the Law – could earn them a right relationship with God. But having a right relationship with God is something that no effort can achieve.

Ephesians 2:8-9 reminds us: “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast”.

Pray

Lord, help them understand that salvation is a gift of grace through faith, not something they can earn.

4. Pray for them to seek and encounter God

An encounter with God changes lives.

When the two disciples on the road to Emmaus met Jesus and realised that it was Him, they changed their plans, did an about turn and returned to Jerusalem to bear witness to their sighting (Luke 24:13-35).

When Paul, then called Saul, encountered Jesus en route to Damascus, he turned from persecuting Christians and began preaching the Gospel (Acts 9:1-22).

Instead of seeking advancements in life, let’s pray for our adult children to seek God because He promises: “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart” (Jeremiah 29:13).

Ask God for God-encounters for your adult children, that their lives may be transformed for His glory.

Pray

God, stir a desire in their heart to seek You. Reveal Yourself to them as they search for Your truth.

5. Pray for them to experience God’s love

The need to be loved is inbuilt into every human being. We were created like this.

Imagine, then, experiencing a love that is patient, kind, not envious, not proud, forgiving, based on truth, protective, trusting, hopeful and persevering; a love that never fails (1 Corinthians 13:4-8). Would it not be transformative? That is the love of God.

This is what we want for our children, adult or otherwise, to experience.

Pray

Lord, let them understand and experience the depth of Your love for them.

6. Pray for the Holy Spirit to work in their lives

The Holy Spirit is our Advocate who teaches us God’s truth, reminds us of His Word (John 14:16-26) and guides us into all the truth (John 16:13). It is also the Holy Spirit who enables us to live right lives (Galatians 5:16-26).

This is exactly every Christian parents’ desire for our children – that they lead right lives guided by the Word.

Pray

Holy Spirit, do your work in their life, guide them into all truth and help them lead a life pleasing to You.

7. Pray for them to be transformed to be like Christ

We cannot change our children. Not by our lecturing, not by our nagging, not by our wishing. That is the work of God.

Romans 12:2 tells us: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

Pray

Lord, give them a hunger for Your Word. Every time they encounter Your Word, renew their mind and transform their heart.

8. Pray for God’s light to shine in their life

God is light (1 John 1:5). He is the source and measure of all that is true and good. When His light shines into our lives, we will be able to discern and desire truth and good.

Jesus tells us in John 8:12: “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

God’s light will light the paths of our children’s lives.

Pray

Father, let Your light shine in their life that they may never walk in darkness. May Your light guide them all the days of their life.

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