Young Ashwin Tan joined the infamous Salakau (369) gang in secondary school, ending up in prison by the age of 21. Altogether he would be incarcerated three times for drug offences.

It was only in a darkened police van on the way to his grandparents’ wakes that God moved his hardened heart by showing him flashback after flashback of all the bad choices he had made in his life. 

“My heart was so hardened that, at the funerals, even when I wanted to cry, I could not cry,” he said. “The tears came in my heart but not in my eyes.” 

When he was returned to his cell, Ashwin knelt down. He felt a hymn rising in his heart: “When I Look Into Your Holiness.”

As the hymn washed over him, tears finally streamed down his face as he was touched by the presence of God.

He uttered an earnest prayer: “God, I don’t know how to change. I don’t know what to do with my life. If You can, help me. Teach me. Save me.”

(Read the first part of Ashwin’s story here.)

Learning to be “normal” 

After his heartfelt prayer, Ashwin served his remaining sentence of one year and six months before he was granted early release to attend a drug rehabilitation programme at halfway house Breakthrough Missions.

“Others told me not to choose to go to Breakthrough as it was known to have one of the strictest programmes. But I really wanted to change. I knew that if I don’t do things differently, it is likely that I wouldn’t change.

“I don’t want to keep doing the same thing hoping for a different result,” said Ashwin.

The regimental routine of daily devotions, job skills training and community services he had to follow at Breakthrough Missions helped Ashwin established key spiritual disciplines in his life. On his own volition, he extended his stay there by one month in a bid to further wait on God.

This time, he did two things differently when he was released back into the world.

Firstly, he chose not to make a beeline to Geylang to seek out prostitutes.

“It’s very common for prisoners, especially males, to cheong and look for women once they are out,” said Ashwin frankly.

Ashwin’s first celebration after being released from prison in 2016.

Secondly, he chose not to go back to his past dealings. He prayed for positive influences and God sent him a friend and mentor who had also been a gang member but had found faith and had changed for the better. 

“I could choose. My old gang member offered me part-time bookie work. My new friend visited me at Breakthrough and also offered me work as an interior designer and contractor in his company as I have some experience in that line,” said Ashwin.

The job offer came with conditions: Working hours were 8am to 5pm for a pay of $1,800, and he needed to attend church and cell group as part of the arrangement.

“To normal people, an 8am to 5pm job is standard. But to those of us who used to work and play at night, only going home in the morning, it was a big change. I had to relearn how to wake up early, take the bus and MRT to work and return to rest for the next day,” said Ashwin.

Nonetheless, he chose the harder path as he was determined to make a change in his life.

Jogging and praying

The adjustments were not easy. Apart from keeping the discipline of holding down a job, he had difficulty connecting with new friends who had had a “normal” life.

“I felt that they didn’t understand what I was going through,” said Ashwin, who was released from his first prison term in 2016.

Ashwin (extreme left) with his cell group members from Faith Community Baptist Church.

Apart from attending Faith Community Baptist Church and cell group regularly, what helped Ashwin tremendously were divine link-ups with spiritual brothers who had had a similar background as he.

“I joined a jogging and prayer group where we prayed and shared our struggles freely. One of the brothers also directed me back to the Bible for a deeper study of it, instead of just reading it,” said Ashwin.

In 2017, he went with his church to minister to condemned prisoners in Hong Kong. There, Ashwin shared his testimony with them.

“I think people could tell that I still had grudges and anger over my situation in the past. I would grumble about the authorities then continue my sharing with praise and thanksgiving,” said Ashwin.

But as his faith grew, further healing took place in his heart over the years.

When he returned to Hong Kong in 2019 to engage in the prison ministry, the believers there saw a further “tamed down” version of himself.

Ashwin (in green jacket) with a team from his church in Hong Kong in 2019.

Other believers also began to recognise his newfound spiritual maturity and leadership potential.

He was voted to become a cell group leader during the COVID pandemic.

“Can you change your heart?”

As he was gradually transformed, so were his family relationships.

Ashwin used to be the absent and irresponsible brother, and it fell to his sister to shoulder the responsibility of caring for their parents. There was no communication between brother and sister.

However, the transformed Ashwin found common topics of conversation with his sister.

“We do community work together. In the car, we can talk about different things, like the goodness of God in our lives, the parables in the Bible or how we can do this and that in the community,” said Ashwin.

Every morning, he now makes it a point to text his mother.

“At the age of 44, I send a love emoji every day to my mother. I do not know how I have become like that. Previously I aspired to be a gangster who wants to either attack or control gang members. I wanted to be a very manly man,” said Ashwin.  

“But God asked me: Can you change you heart and be intentional in showing love?

“Once my mother asked me, ‘Hey, how come Jesus can be like that? To die for people He does not know?’ That is our conversation now. Previously there was only hurt, only pain. In the past she did not even want to see me because when I entered the house, I only brought trouble,” recalled Ashwin, whose mother was recently baptised.

Ashwin (in striped tee) at a family celebration in 2023.

His relationship with his father has also improved.

“Last time, we couldn’t talk because every time he tried to tell me or teach me something, I showed him zero respect. I didn’t see him as a father figure,” he admitted.

Both father and son have reached a level of closeness where they would inform each other whenever they are travelling out of the country.

“It was not a sudden change but one step at a time,” said Ashwin. “I will give him a call to let him know where I am and where I am going. We also meet up.” 

A growing love for God and people

Ashwin also enjoys engaging the community.

Every Thursday night, he and a few friends read the Bible online with orphans from a children’s home in Johor Bahru.

Every fortnight, he and his family members also head to Beach Road to organise events and serve the needs of the elderly and low-income residents living in the area.

“At first, I started doing community work with some of my friends because we firmly believed that ex-offenders can also contribute to society. But as I grew to love God, my love for people also grew,” he told Salt&Light.

Ashwin’s first visit to a children’s home in Johor Bahru in 2019.

Ashwin and his family members and friends organised a mooncake event for the elderly at a senior activity centre.

Ashwin with his wife (in grey) and friends visiting a nursing home.

Ashwin receiving a token of appreciation for his community work in Beach Road from MP Denise Phua.

On a mission trip in the Philippines.

Two years ago, Ashwin started his own interior design company. His staff come together for Bible devotions every Friday morning.

He also launched a community arm where a portion of the funds goes towards supporting a non-profit organisation that is building a hostel for missionaries in Indonesia.  

“In my previous life without Christ, all these would have been impossible and unimaginable,” Ashwin said.

“My family was not a typical family, but God has used us and my former life to encourage others.”

This is Part 2 of Ashwin Tan’s remarkable story. Read Part 1 below.

“My heart was so hardened, I could not even cry”: The 369 gangster who went to his grandparents’ wake handcuffed and shackled

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