A woman’s special day is coming up this weekend. 

We call it Mothers’ Day, and leave it up to the children to plan for the occasion. But really, husbands should take the moment to celebrate their other halves as their beloved.

A new initiative that started in April this year is encouraging men to do just that. Called Hand In Mine SG, it was started by three young husbands/dads who want to see marriages strengthened in Singapore. (Ephesians 5:25) 

Elvin Foong, one of its founders who also runs The Treasure Box SG, explained the idea this way: “We believe that strong families start from strong marriages, and strong marriages begin when husbands take the lead to show their love and appreciation to their wives tangibly and regularly.”

“As fathers, it’s easy to get so caught up in trying to be great dads, that we forget to be great husbands first, ” he said. “And often, we can start to see our spouse as just the mother of our children, rather than the love of our lives.”

The group recently organised their first event, where husbands got together to hand-make a personalised frame for their wives for Mothers’ Day.

Showing off the handmade gift – all wrapped and ready to be presented. Photo courtesy of Hand in Mine SG.

A group of fathers got together a few days before Mothers’ Day to make a gift for their wives. Photo courtesy of Hand In Mine SG.

Elvin Foong preparing for the event with his children beforehand. Photo from Hand In Mine Facebook page.

The plan is to organise more hands-on activities so that instead of telling the men that they need to be more loving husbands, they actually work on being better husbands. 

And that means not being coy with one’s affections either. Salt&Light got the guys from Hand In Mine to start the ball rolling.

Elvin Foong, 37

Elvin and Esther Foong.

Elvin is married to Esther, 34, and they have two kids, Nathan, 8, and Phoebe, 6. 

They have been husband and wife for almost 11 years – their anniversary is in June. The Foongs were both in the public service before they left to start The Treasure Box SG, a company that advocates discipleship in the family. 

1. What are you doing this Mothers’ Day?

We’ll be busy serving together, running back-to-back children’s programmes for church the whole morning, so we’ll likely be too tired to do anything after that.

In any case, we’ve learnt from experience – we don’t celebrate Mothers’ Day (or Valentines’ Day) on the actual days they fall on. It’s just way too crowded everywhere, plus all the businesses and eateries conspire to take all your money!

We’re going to have a nice, quiet family dinner together with my parents on Monday instead. Much easier on the nerves, and on my wallet.

2. How and why did you fall in love with your wife?

Esther and I have known each other for a really long time, having met in church as youths, but what really got me seriously thinking about taking our friendship to the next level was after a short-term missions trip to East Timor that we went on together in 2003.

One of the things we did on the trip was to organise a full-day carnival for kids in the village. Through the process of working together, I saw first-hand both her compassion for the children, as well as her commitment to excellence.

But, most importantly, she laughed at all my terrible jokes, so that really was the ultimate deal-maker.

Oh, legend has it that she liked me first, after she heard me sing at an event. I’m the one telling the story, so I get to tell it the way I like it.

3. What do you love most about your wife?

The thing that sometimes annoys me the most about Esther is the same thing that I love the most about her – the fact that she is honest to a fault.

With Esther, what you see and hear is literally what you get. Her authenticity and willingness to say the things that others wouldn’t dare to might rub some people the wrong way, but I think it’s such a refreshing thing to be able to communicate with her at such an open, unfiltered level.

A lot of times, it’s this quality in her that has challenged me be more open to share what I would’ve rather kept to myself too, and that has really grown our marriage relationship and even my willingness to be vulnerable as a man.

4. What are your hopes and dreams for your wife?

To see her own dreams take flight – for many years, she worked quietly behind the scenes, supporting and releasing me so that I could do what I wanted and needed to do.

I know that the Lord has given her her own unique dreams that He’s planned for her to accomplish, and I would love for nothing more than to be able to stand by her side as she watches them come to pass, the same way she stood by mine.

I already know just how insanely proud of her I would be in that moment.

Jonathan Cho, 32

Jonathan and Dorea Cho.

Jonathan and Dorea, 29, got married four years ago. They have a baby girl, Zoey, who is one-and-a-half years old.

Jonathan is a lawyer and Dorea is a medical social worker. 

1. What are you doing this Mothers’ Day?

We’re spending extended time with the family, as we do every weekend.

Our family loves having meals together, so we are taking the opportunity to explore some new food places.

2. How and why did you fall in love with your wife?

It was a gradual process, as I started to understand her better and know her heart.

We were friends in church for some time, but because she’s a few years younger, we weren’t always in the same social circles.

We only really started connecting on a heart level when we both entered university at around the same time.

It soon became clear to me that we shared the same love for God, for life, and for our families. I remember thinking: “She’s really someone that I could build a life with” – and so I went for it!

3. What do you love most about your wife?

As with all couples, we experience miscommunication and misunderstandings, but what I love most about my wife and our relationship is that our hearts break for the same things.

She has such a generous and gracious heart for the broken, the oppressed and the vulnerable.

When it comes to that, few words are needed between us – we understand each other immediately and know what we have given our lives to doing.

Although I act like I’m upset by it at times, I also love the fact that she can be silly and forgetful, really “blur like sotong” sometimes. It makes life exciting, and keeps me on my toes.

4. What are your hopes and dreams for your wife?

I hope that she continues to grow into the woman that she was made to be; that she would be fearless in pursuing what is truly on her heart; that she would love courageously, even those who may not reciprocate; and that she would have the capacity to mother many more children (laughs).

Anson Tan, 37

Anson and Serene Tan.

Anson and Serene, 35 have been married for 10 years and they have two boys, Azel and Aden, who are 6 and 2 years old respectively.

The couple met at the National Institute of Education (NIE) 13 years ago. Both of them are teachers. 

1. What are you doing this Mothers’ Day?

I will be assisting Azel in preparing a home-cooked dinner for Serene, and we’ll also be working together with Aden  to design and write a card to express our appreciation for Mummy.

2. How and why did you fall in love with your wife?

God amazingly orchestrated for us to meet and know each other in NIE. I got to know Serene better through a community outreach project and I quickly fell in love with her personality and empathy for the people around her.

3. What do you love most about your wife?

Her smile. It’s infatuating and makes my day when I am feeling down.

And I’m proud to be the husband of a woman with genuine concerns for others. 

4. What are your hopes and dreams for your wife?

By providing my full support, I hope Serene will be able to pursue her dreams of doing something what she really wanted in the coming two years.

And I know she’ll continue to be an inspiring and wonderful wife and mum to our two sons.

“God wants you to forgive and restore your family”: Esther Tzer Wong