As a mum of two young children, it was heartbreaking to watch the videos that were circulating over the last few days.

In the latest in a string of news reports that have shocked parents nationwide, another preschool teacher has been arrested for allegedly mistreating children – this time at a different childcare centre under the same chain (Kinderland).

I have heard of parents who cannot bring themselves to sit through the videos because they find the clips, which include a crying preschooler being force-fed water and another child being smacked on the head, too distressing.

I also know of parents who are guilt-laden at having to leave their young ones in the care of childcare centres because they have no alternative caregiving arrangements.

At the very least, I understand the general concern that may be on the mind of parents, especially those with younger kids: Is my child really receiving the best care that he or she can get in school? Are there things going on in the background that I don’t have a clue about?

I was that mum.

Having worked full-time for close to a decade, I have had to place my daughters in childcare since pre-nursery. That meant that on weekdays, most of their day was spent away from the home.

There were times when I would pass by kindergartens on the way to work and tears would inexplicably well up in my eyes as the children I saw reminded me of my own. I wondered how my daughters were doing in school: Were they coping okay? 

That is why I cannot help but grieve over what the affected children have had to go through at such a tender age. It also worries me that there are more out there who are suffering in silence. 

As we continue to process this news, I want to appeal to parents with these three things that you can do. My hope is that this will both equip and encourage. 

1. We have to keep talking to our children

Last night, I shared the news with my firstborn who is now in primary school, and we were able to have a quick chat about her experiences in childcare and student care.

I explained to her why certain behaviours by the preschool teachers were wrong, and intend to continue the discussion by emphasising the importance of sharing with a trusted adult if she senses that something is not right. 

What is especially upsetting in the cases that have surfaced is that this happened to little ones who may not have the language capabilities to express what has been going on. Worse, they may even not realise that these actions by the adults in authority are unacceptable.

At that young age, however, it is possible to teach right and wrong through role play, as well as to ask questions or engage in simple activities that will help you understand how your child feels towards school. 

If they are older, it is equally important to create opportunities so that your child has the chance to tell you about their day and anything that is bothering them. 

Having reflected on the conversations I have had with my daughters over the years, I also admit how it is easy to be dismissive or judgemental when they tell me about small issues. But I realised that it is worth spending the time to listen. By doing so, it builds a safe space for our children to come to us with bigger issues.

2. We need to recognise that some things are out of our control

Not every parent has a choice of whether they can afford to send their children to a three-hour preschool option or stay home with their kids. 

And if so, what is left to be done except to do our due diligence when selecting a school and then leaving the rest in God’s hands? 

Yes, there is good reason to continue paying attention to how the leaders and teachers of a school interact with the children, as well as keep an eye out for signs that your child may not be treated well.

But this is not the time to go into a hyper-anxious or panic mode. School refusal and separation anxiety is also common in the early years; it may not always be because of bad teachers or a poor environment. 

That being said, I have had experiences with three different preschools, and it is by the grace of God that my daughters have been blessed with good teachers.

Regardless of whether they were in a Christian kindergarten or secular childcare centre, they had nurturing educators who cared for them. Some were more firm, but you could tell that they did it out of love. 

This also brings me to my last point.

3. We must appreciate the other great teachers out there

I know the news has saddened early childhood educators too.

When many have already been struggling to get the recognition they deserve for the valuable work that they do, reports like these just do not reflect the sheer amount of effort that preschool teachers put in behind the scenes. 

With Teachers’ Day just around the corner, I think there is no better time than to give credit where it is due.

On behalf of parents, I appreciate the many educators who strive so hard to provide the best care for children under their charge.

Thank you for sacrificing much of your own personal (and even family) time to love our kids in the ways you know how. We are so grateful for the work that you do!

At such a time as this, it is also crucial that we continue to pray. Here are three areas that we can commit to prayer.

Pray for our children

“Defend the weak and the fatherless; uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed.” (Psalm 82:3)

Children are a vulnerable group, and this news must also break God’s heart. 

Pray for the children who have been directly impacted. Pray that they will have opportunities to heal from the trauma at having been mistreated and to be able to have other positive experiences from adults who care.

Pray for all children – for God’s protection to be upon them, so that they can spend their time in a loving environment that they can grow well in.

Pray that they will be surrounded by good teachers who care about their well-being. That that they will also know when to speak up when something is not right – even if it is happening to a classmate and not themselves. 

Pray for our teachers 

“Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.” (1 Peter 4:10) 

Pray for those who have the passion and gift in teaching to step forward as educators and continue to persevere despite the day-to-day challenges.

Pray they will remember that what they have in their hands are not jobs to be done, but young lives that God has given to them to impact and influence. 

Pray that they will serve out of devotion – and not just duty.

“For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil.” (Ecclesiastes 12:14)

Pray for the teachers who are struggling with doing good because of the circumstances they face at work. Ask God to convict them of any wrongdoing and to give them the willingness to change. 

Pray also for the teachers who are at the centre of the news. Pray that while justice needs to be served, that these individuals will also have the chance to repent.

Pray for our schools

Pray for our schools to be safe and nurturing places that our children can learn in.

Pray for those in authority – for principals, school leaders and those who have the chance to shape policy.

“I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people — for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness.” (1 Timothy 2:1-2)

Pray that they will have the courage and confidence to make the right decisions, even if it comes at a cost. That they will also be able to come up with processes that are helpful, so that educators can receive the training and support they need.

Pray also for the Early Childhood Development Agency and relevant authorities to take the necessary action as the investigations continue for these recent cases.

Finally, we know that in all things, God is still able to turn things around, to redeem that which is bad and use it for good (Genesis 50:20). 

Let us continue to trust in God’s sovereignty and pray that what has come to light will serve its purpose.

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