As a child in kindergarten, Hannah Kasture stood between her parents, crying, as they argued and fought. 

Having grown up in a broken family, she spent years searching for love, acceptance and stability, causing her to drop out of school at 16 and become pregnant out of wedlock at 19.

Across the world in New York City, Peck Sim was in another toxic relationship – the last in a string of relationships since she was 17.

 CLICK HERE TO GET YOUR COPY OF Salt&Light: Inspirational Stories of Faith in Love

In her 30s, she broke down when her pastor “pulled a Nathan” (2 Samuel 12:7) on her, telling her directly: “You are living in sin.”

She broke off with her boyfriend almost immediately. But as she went on to wait for The Right One for the next 20 years, the question in her mind was: Am I not enough?

Andrew Thomas, single and in Singapore, was constantly having friends try to marry him off.

“They meant well, but they rarely encouraged me to think that celibacy is a God-honoured way of living that is every bit as positive and fruitful as marriage,” he said.

For Jacq So, coming from a traditional Chinese family meant that marriage was a given. 

“It was drilled into me from childhood the importance of finding a good husband when I grew up,” said the 35-year-old.

“Of course, like many girls, I grew up on books and rom-coms and dramas that made romance the ultimate goal. So, it convinced me that getting married was the pinnacle of my journey as a woman.”

As singles, and as a Church, how do we better value singlehood?

Hannah, Peck, Andrew and Jacq’s stories are featured in newly released book, Salt&Light: Inspirational Stories of Faith in Love.

Here are 3 words for singles their faith-driven stories have revealed.

1.    Singlehood gives us time to know and give of ourselves

“Being single has afforded me the opportunity to really discover who I am and to be secure in my identity,” said Jacq.

“I’ve been able to ‘own’ my personality and interests and experiences, and to see them as opportunities for me to minister to more people.

“The Lord opened my eyes to the need for people who could give their undivided time and attention to different ministries, and showed me how valuable it was to the church that I have the time to commit to such important work.

“I feel like there’s still so much for me to do as a single person. So, I’m definitely still savouring the status.”

2.     Singlehood tests our resolve for God’s best

“’Someone who loves the Lord’ used to be a requirement I had only because it was expected of me as a Christian,” said Jacq. “But as my relationship with Jesus deepened and He became my priority, I know it’d never work out with someone who didn’t put God first in his life.

“I shouldn’t be expected to settle.”

Peck agreed: “When I finally handed my love life to God, I wanted the God choice, not just the good choice.”

3.     Singlehood points us towards a spiritual family that outlasts our biological family

“Jesus taught that earthly marriage while blessed by God, is not an eternal state – it’s not going to exist in heaven,” said Andrew.

“In Matthew 12.49, when Jesus’ mother and brothers came looking for Him, He said: “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” Pointing to his disciples, He said, “Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.

“The Church as our true family, a family that outlasts and transcends our biological families.

“Our family in the Kingdom of God is first and foremost our brothers- and sisters-in-Christ. And our singles are a living reminder that in Jesus we are all part of a new heavenly family that will outlast our human family.

Peck summed it up: “My raging heart finally found rest in the words of a Father who truly knows how to still a storm. 

“No good thing does He withhold from those whose walk is blameless.” (Psalm 84:11)

“I figured if He says He will withhold no good thing from me, then marriage must not be a good thing for me. At least not at this point. It is not because I had sinned. Or because I am not enough.  

“Jesus became my beloved. I learned to spend my Valentine’s Day with Him, contemplating His love and His loveliness.

“I finally believed that singlehood was a gift, just as marriage was.”

Hannah added: “I used to feel like I was an orphan, but now I know I am a child of God.”