Over the weekend, public outrage broke out on social media over the death of a four-year-old who suffered horrifying abuse at the hands of her own mother and the woman’s boyfriend.

Last Friday (February 28), Foo Li Ping, 29, and Wong Shi Xiang, 38, appeared in the High Court to plead guilty to various charges they faced in relation to Megan Khung’s death, reported The Straits Times.

Wong was also charged for drug trafficking and drug consumption.

Their cruel acts included caning, punching and slapping Megan for “offences” such as urinating on the bed and sofa, depriving her of food and clothing, forcing her to eat food from the dustbin, making her sleep in a planter box until she once suffered a heat stroke, inflicting humiliating punishments, and burning and disposing her body after a fatal blow that caused her death. 

Like many others, I could barely bring myself to read through the entire article. Like many others, I was incensed. Like many others, I wept.

In fact, I forced myself to read on for the gist of the story, quickly skimming through the disturbing details. 

The abuse was carried out for more than a year in a condominium unit rented by Wong. The couple also took drugs together.

They were finally arrested in July 2020 after Megan’s father made a police report out of concern for her whereabouts and safety.

It was also reported that Megan’s parents were divorced in 2017, and Megan’s father Khung Wei Nan (better known as content creator Simonboy) was serving a three-year sentence at a drug rehabilitation centre at that time.

An anti-drug ambassador now, he has been open about his regret, grief and faith, vowing to use his experience to help others. However, that has not spared him from the backlash.

Understandably, many are angry that he did not fulfil his responsibility as a parent. Many are also in disbelief that he has seemingly moved on and is expecting a third child.

In addition, the case has stirred many parallel conversations, from the death penalty for drug trafficking, to the line between disciplining and child abuse.

Many things have been said, and many emotions have been expressed.

But personally, I am grieving. I am grieving over all that is broken in the world.

Broken lives, broken relationships

If she was alive, Megan would have been 10 this year, around the age of my own children. 

As a parent, I am heartbroken that Megan was subjected to such violence – and from the one who should have loved and protected her.

How could a mother allow that to happen to her own flesh and blood? 

Did the drugs impair her judgement? Did she turn to drugs as a form of escape from what felt like a hopeless situation? Did she stick with a brutal boyfriend because she wanted to be loved?

No one knows for sure.

But what we do know is that Megan’s mother herself must have faced her fair share of struggles in life. 

A psychiatric report mentioned that she had moved from one abusive relationship to another. Her marriage ended shortly after Megan was born.

I am also surprised that no one is talking about how she became a mother at 19 years old.

Granted, none of these should be an excuse for the way she treated her own child. 

But when I try and imagine what life must have been like for this young woman who was not even legally an adult at the time she became a mum, I cannot help but feel a sense of compassion.

As a mother, I know first-hand how difficult caring for a child can be. What more doing this all by yourself and at such a young age?

I was even more heartbroken when I read this article that was published in 2020 after Megan’s mother and her boyfriend was arrested.

In an interview, Megan’s uncle (her father’s elder brother) shared that after the divorce, Megan’s mum insisted on raising the child by herself and that “her in-laws saw no reason to stop her”. 

It was reported that after she took the child away and moved in with her own family, she also refused to let her in-laws see Megan.

It was only much later when Megan’s maternal grandmother contacted her paternal grandmother to say that they had not heard from Megan’s mother for months that they realised something was wrong.

“She can do whatever she wants with her life, but why did she have to take away the child too? If she had any problems, she could have come to us. So why?” the uncle was quoted as saying.

I cannot imagine how devastating it must have been for both families. 

The village that was supposed to raise Megan when her father and mother were not able to were shut out.

Where do we go from here?

On a practical level, a case like this must compel us to reflect on where we could have done better.

I think about the difference that social services might have made.

I think about the difference that marriage counsellors might have made.

I think about the difference that single mum support groups might have made.

I think about the difference that addiction treatments might have made.

I think about the difference Megan’s school might have made.

It was reported that Megan’s preschool where she had been enrolled since 2017 had suspected that something was not right when they noticed her bruises on her body.

Shortly after a verbal warning was given, Megan’s mother withdrew her from the preschool.

Would things have been different if the school had escalated the matter to the relevant authorities?

And going back to the divorce, would Megan have been better off in foster care instead of in her mother’s custody?

Perhaps.

And what about those who were living near the couple?

The abuse went on for more than a year. Why did no one realise what was happening within the home?

In another article, the neighbours said they had no idea that something was amiss, with some “noting that many residents in the condo keep to themselves and do not socialise much with one another”.

However, some said they had previously heard a child playing inside the unit. Why did they not hear Megan’s cries?

In such moments, I wonder if our tendency to mind our own business is good.

Because whether we do it out of respect for others or we are worried about trouble, we might eventually pass up opportunities to help.

An incident like this reminds us of the need to be the eyes and ears in our communities, especially for vulnerable segments of the population. 

We grieve, but not without hope

There are certainly plenty of what-ifs. But I also want to end off with something I read over the weekend that resonated with me.

In a recent article for the Methodist Message, clinical psychologist Dr Mark Toh from Promises Healthcare shared that it is not helpful to view addictions primarily with judgement. 

“Instead, it is more helpful to view addictions as an indication of how humans struggle to cope with the hardships of living with discomfort, pain or suffering,” he wrote.

Seen in that light, addictions are then “a dependency that reveals our deep emotional struggles with the difficult demands of living”. 

As Christians, we believe that sin entered the world through Adam and Eve’s disobedience, separating us from God.

Because of the fallen nature that we have inherited, there is brokenness and suffering in the world.

But we also know that this is not the end of the story.

At times like these, when we are confronted with the ugly consequences of sin, how do we respond? Are we only quick to judge and assign blame?

As we collectively mourn the death of an innocent child, may God also fill us with a burden for the brokenness in this world.

May God use us as His hands and feet to love and care for those around us.

And may God give us an even greater conviction for humanity’s need of a Saviour, bringing the message of reconciliation to those who are in need of redemption and restoration.

If your child is being abused or you wish to consult someone about possible abuse of your child, call the National Anti-Violence Helpline at 1800-777-0000. If the child’s life and safety is in imminent danger, please call the Police at 999 immediately.

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