Around the time in 1983 when violinist-conductor-teacher Vivien Goh received the Cultural Medallion, Singapore’s highest arts accolade, for her contribution to music, a storm was raging on her homefront. She had just lost both her father and her sister within a short period.

Just three years earlier, in February 1980, her mother passed away suddenly. Her passing happened in the same month that Vivien, then 32, took on the national role as music director and resident conductor of the Singapore Youth Orchestra (SYO).

Upon her mother’s death, caring for her dementia-stricken father fell on Vivien. At that point, she had taken over her father’s private studio — Goh Soon Tioe Music Studio — to teach his violin students when he became ill.

Her father was the late pioneering violinist Goh Soon Tioe, whose name was synonymous with raising classical musicians in post-war Singapore, many of whom went on to make waves on the local and international stage.

Goh Soon Tioe’s (standing, left) students included Lee Pan Hon (seated, right), who was spotted at age five on the streets of Chinatown, playing a homemade violin. Pan Hon went on to become the first Asian joint leader of the famous Halle Orchestra based in Manchester, England.

Here is how Vivien, who was inducted into the Singapore Women’s Hall of Fame this month, found comfort during that season of grief:  

In February 1980, Vivien, then 32, took on the role as musical director and conductor of the Singapore Youth Orchestra (SYO).

In the same month, her mother passed away suddenly from a heart attack.

“It was such a shock. Suddenly, she was gone,” said Vivien, now 76.

Vivien’s father was from Indonesia and her mother Chang Lee Sieng was from Sarawak.

From the time he fell ill five years earlier, Vivien had taken over teaching the students in his private studio. Now the responsibility of caring for her father suddenly fell on her. 

“Suddenly, I became the adult, the parent in the family. I grew up in a hurry and learnt a lot during that time. Previously, Mum did everything,” she said.

Vivien was suddenly in charge of the family home and sorting out her late mother’s estate.

“At that time, there was no awareness that what my father had was dementia,” she says.

Vivien’s father, Goh Soon Tioe was a violinist, teacher, conductor and impresario who played a key role in the development of classical music in post-war Singapore. Photo from 1975.

“We only knew that he was not himself. He was usually jovial, sociable and loved to talk. But when he wandered into the music studio, he stared at students and said nothing.”

The family took him to a psychiatrist who prescribed medication.

“It made him worse, and he couldn’t function on his own,” said Vivien.

“I had sleepless nights as my father was restless and up and about at night. When he woke up, I also woke up.”

Comfort in Psalms and Proverbs

In the second year of caring for her father, he had a fall and was bedridden.

But Vivien saw God’s provision in the form of a faithful helper who had been with the family for 40 years, and a day nurse. A friend also offered to help when she needed relief from caregiving at night.

Discouraged because her father was not responsive or able to talk much, she confided in Jenny Chi, the late wife of Rev Dr Tony Chi of Wesley Methodist Church.

“Jenny encouraged me to keep communicating with him. She assured me that although my father could not respond, what I said to him was being absorbed. [Now] I share this advice with many people in similar situations,” said Vivien.

Vivien also heeded Jenny’s advice to read and pray the Psalms with her father. She also applied what evangelist Billy Graham said: “If you don’t read anything, just read one Proverb and five Psalms a day.”

She said: “There is a lot of wisdom in that. We spent meaningful time together, and I discovered how meaningful and consoling the Psalms can be in difficult situations.

“Psalms is the best book in the Bible. There is a Psalm for every kind of situation. There is a lot of praise and joy. I found it very calming.”

Vivien also played classical music in an attempt to jog her father’s memory, and that had a calming effect on him.

(From left) Lee Pan Hon, Vivien, her older sister Sylvia, her younger sister Patricia, Tony Lee, and Seow Yit Kin in 1972.

Her father passed away in 1982 at the age of 70.

“The grief I felt after my father passed away was the grief for both my parents passing,” Vivien said. “I now understood the feeling of emptiness. There was a big hole every evening when I went home. I filled it by doing cross-stitch patterns with a dark night theme.”

A year after her father’s passing, her younger sister Patricia also passed away suddenly.

“I don’t recall what I felt except numbness,” says Vivien.

(From left) Sylvia, Patricia and Vivien, with their parents in 1955.

During such a time, she found comfort and assurance in Psalm 23 and in her mother’s favourite hymn, “What a Friend We Have in Jesus”.

As “wave upon wave of loss” came upon the family in the early 1980s, Vivien kept working “by God’s grace”.

“Work took my mind off problems,” she admits. “The work became more complicated, more intense, with the SYO putting on more concerts and programmes.”

As “wave upon wave of loss” came upon the family in the early 1980s, Vivien (pictured with the Singapore Youth Orchestra) kept working “by God’s grace”.

She made such an impact on young musicians and the national orchestra that The Straits Times dubbed her “the woman who made the SYO what it is today”.

Ministry of music

All throughout the storms and losses, Vivien continued serving faithfully across the music ministries at Wesley Methodist Church, including being its choir director for a period.

“Coming to church is such a big part of my life. Even when I travel, the first thing I do is look for a church. It didn’t enter my mind to stop serving,” she explains.

The rare times she had taken a break from serving were when she studied or travelled abroad, and when she had to undergo surgery for breast cancer in the 1990s.

Vivien has used virtually all her music skills in ministry at Wesley Methodist Church.

She started serving with singing in the girls’ choir while she was in primary school.

“In my younger days I was full of energy, and could play at the 7.30am, 10am and 5pm services—all in one day—if I was called upon to,” says Vivien.

This year, Vivien celebrates her 62nd year of playing the organ at Wesley. Photo courtesy of Wesley Methodist Church.

At the age of 15, in 1963, Vivien started playing the organ at the 10am service.

Over the decades, Vivien, who also plays the viola, has served in some form of music ministry – as pianist, organist, choir conductor – across the three Sunday services in the Sanctuary.

“At that time, Wesley had no orchestra, so I offered to have our Goh Soon Tioe String Orchestra play at the combined Christmas service,” says Vivien, pictured in 1977.

“The combined Wesley church choir was one of Singapore’s biggest choirs; they had the scale to put up concerts of big Christian choral works by composers like Mendelssohn, Haydn and Handel at Victoria Theatre,” said Vivien, who chaired the Worship and Music ministry at Wesley in the 1970s.

For her, something else was bigger than the size of the choir: “One day, we were studying Isaiah. I thought, ‘This is very familiar.’ Then I realised that we had sung Isaiah 40:1-3 in Handel’s Messiah.

“So the choir fed my Christian life. We sang a lot of anthems and hymns based on the Psalms and texts from the Bible, and here I absorbed many of the lessons about God and the Christian life,” says Vivien, adding that many lyrics also came from the books of Habakkuk and Zechariah.

“They mean a lot to me because of the Word.

“I was in the worship ministry, but I believe the music fed me more than I fed others.”

Vivien (4th from left) with members of the choir at a Victory Meeting. Victory Meetings were evangelistic musicals started in 1976 by Rev Dr Tony Chi. They were held at different venues like the National Theatre (at River Valley Road), World Trade Centre Auditorium and Kallang Theatre.

In 1976, Wesley began holding Victory Meetings — evangelistic musicals in marketplace locations. It was through serving at Victory Meetings that Vivien developed the confidence to pray aloud in a small group.

“Usually the person in charge of an event prays. But during preparations for Victory Meetings, we were broken up into small groups to pray and encourage each other.

“Victory Meetings weren’t just about the music. They were so spiritual, and undergirded with prayer,” she shares.

Of the hymns and anthems she has sung and played, she says: “They mean a lot to me because they are mainly based on the Psalms and texts from the Bible. They teach you about God and the Christian life.”

This story has been adapted with permission; read the full story here.

Vivien’s is one of 26 testimonies from Our Stories, His Glory 2, by Wesley Methodist Church. A hard copy of the book is available at $xx from xxx. A portion of proceeds go to Home For Good, a network of foster parents, adoptive parents and volunteers who want to help vulnerable children and youth receive family-based care and experience life differently in a loving and stable family environment.

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