It was in the beginning of 2011 that I felt a divine prompting from God telling me that something was about to happen.

Life was as normal as it could be. I didn’t know what God was trying to tell me. I was still serving faithfully in church. Could it be that He wanted me to change ministry? I went on praying and asking God to lead me but there was no clear answer.

Bernard posted this photo on Facebook one day before he had a biopsy that revealed he had stage 2 nose cancer.

It was only later in July that year that I realised what an exciting journey God has prepared not only for me but also for my wife Verena.

Frozen with extreme fear

On Friday, July 1, 2011, I felt a small lump on the right side of my neck. It was neither an obvious nor a visible lump as I could only feel it when I pressed hard. It was a swelling of the lymph node, a normal bodily response to its fight against infections.

Strangely disturbed, I went to see my family GP that day. He gave me some medicine to take for a week. However, a week later, this small lump was still around.

Feeling paranoid, I went back to him on Thursday, July 7, 2011, and was immediately referred to an ENT specialist for a biopsy. I left the clinic feeling worried and anxious. I just knew that something was not right.

The result came back the following day. I remember very clearly that moment when the doctor broke the news to me that I was diagnosed with stage 2 nose cancer. I was standing there right in front of him, frozen with extreme fear.

The thoughts of dying and leaving this earth, not being able to see my family anymore completely overwhelmed me. 

When the doctor was sharing the general statistics of survival rates of cancer, I rebuked him (in my mind) because I believed strongly that God is the only One who knows how much time I have on earth. He is above all, including cancer.

I was also thankful that God had spared me from a late detection and a later stage of cancer as nose cancer is difficult to detect. I did not know why God had allowed this storm but I was convinced that He was with me, going through this storm in my life.

Fiery arrows

That night, I couldn’t really sleep as there were just too many things running through my mind. I tried to “wake up” from this dream but I couldn’t. The reality of being diagnosed with cancer began to sink in. Everything happened so suddenly.

At about 2am, I felt led to get out of bed into my living room to pray. As I was praying, I felt suddenly that I was in the middle of a huge battlefield. There were fiery arrows firing at me from all directions. I couldn’t see where they were fired from but I knew I had to take cover.

Bernard underwent three chemotherapy sessions, each lasting about three hours. After each session, he experienced intense weakness and tiredness.

I looked around and all I could find was a shield which I later realised was the shield of faith. With the shield blocking the fiery arrows coming at me, I continued praying and calling out to God to rescue and protect me.

It was about 4am when the fiery arrows subsided and I went back to my bed and rested.

Re-calibration

One of my brothers-in-Christ, who had been praying for me, texted me with: “Just FYI. You have a potentially very curable disease.”

During Bernard’s 33 days of radiotherapy treatment, his face “was locked down in position as my body was moved into the tunnel”.

I called him immediately and found out that he was actually an oncologist who could help me with the chemotherapy treatment. Soon after, another dentist brother-in-Christ also connected with me to help me check the condition of my teeth prior to radiotherapy treatment.

Within a week, I started my cancer treatments of chemotherapy followed by radiotherapy, and completed all treatments in three months.

During these three months, help in many forms also poured in. Some of my friends offered to fetch my kids to school and some offered financial support during the treatment period as I was the sole breadwinner in the family.

Although it was only three months of treatment, it was the most challenging and darkest moment in my life. I was totally drained physically, mentally and emotionally.

I struggled through every day with the side-effects of the treatment, the severe hurting throat, the extreme body weakness, bloated stomach, the lack of appetite and the ultimate loss of taste.