Family

Why having community is essential for your marriage

Focus on the Family // July 16, 2019, 6:00 am

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Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash.

No man is an island and the same can said of marriage. Couples who are married would be immensely blessed to have the support of well-meaning friends and family who will walk with them through all of married life’s challenges.

Whether you are a newly-wed or an empty nester, here are a few groups of people you can consider tapping on for help, as you journey through life with the person you’ve made a life-long commitment to.

More experienced married couples

Make time with your spouse to connect with others. Spending time with couples at different stages of marriage can help bring fresh perspectives to your marriage and reassure you that you are not alone in your marital challenges.

Spending time with couples at different stages of marriage can help reassure you that you are not alone in your marital challenges.

Older couples have a wealth of wisdom from their own marriage journey and they can offer invaluable advice.

Couples who are in the next phase of life can counsel you on issues concerning the near future, such as the decision to have children, parenting challenges or how to handle transitions for empty nesters whose children have just left home.

No matter the age of your married friends, you can reap much benefit from their company. Equipped with others’ encouragement, perspectives and stories of hope and God’s grace, you’ll be better able to manage and even stave off marital troubles to experience a lasting, fulfilling marriage.

Marriage mentors

If one-off double dates and flitting from one married couple to another for interaction and advice lacks the consistency you need, actively search for a more experienced married couple who you and your spouse feel will make good marriage mentors.

Typically, these couples should be at least a married life-stage ahead of yours with a love for people and willingness to humbly share lessons learnt, offer encouragement and Christ-centred advice that will push you and your spouse deeper into His pleasure.

Ask around for recommendations and pray towards God leading you to a mentor couple who will be a right fit for you both.

Married couples or singles who are willing to babysit

On a practical note, this group of people will be indispensable if you and your spouse don’t have other help when you are out on dates with each other.

Regular date nights are important for all married couples. 

Regular date nights are important for all married couples. Time spent alone with your spouse just enjoying each other’s company, doing things you love and free from distraction is much needed for a marriage to thrive.

You will need the help of reliable babysitters who you know you can trust.

Pastors and ministry leaders passionate about strengthening marriages

Approach pastors to pray with you and your spouse and approach ministry leaders who will bring you through pre-marital and marriage enrichment programmes designed to help you have a marriage as intended by God.

Actively seek out people such as these throughout your marriage. Not only will they be able to help you pick up on things that you might have missed in areas of conflict, they will also be able to help you see your spouse through the loving eyes of God.

We have been created for fellowship with our Abba Father and His community, and letting the church community into your life to help journey with you through your marriage can indeed be a great blessing to you and your spouse.

This article was first written for Focus on the Family, Singapore and has been republished with permission.

About the author

Focus on the Family

Focus on the Family Singapore is a local charity with Institution of a Public Character (IPC) status, dedicated to helping families thrive by being a voice for Family. We partner individuals and organisations to nurture families at different life stages through transformational family life education, trusted resources, content placements and counselling.

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