Joe Lim was eight years old when he realised he was different.

He was an only child, yet had “siblings” he would meet on occasion. He was raised by his mother, and only met his father every few months. It did not track with his observation of other families around him.

“I soon discovered that my father had several wives, and my mother was wife number three. My father made sure the wives never met, but would bring all of his children together for meals and playtime,” he remembered.

In total, Joe’s father had four wives and 10 children.

“As a child, growing up in this strange, broken-yet-blended family of sorts meant I really had no framework for life, healthy relationships, or self-worth,” he said.

A purposeless childhood 

When Joe was nine, his father left his mother. The following years were filled with loneliness, anger and purposelessness.

“For a while, I dreamed of being a pilot or architect but my grades were average, and my father was very discouraging. He would say, ‘You’re so stupid, don’t even think of that kind of career. Just earn enough to eat and survive,’” Joe, now 41, said.

Joe (seated) with his mother and one of his few childhood friends who remains close to this day.

His mother, determined to prove she could make it without his father’s help, threw herself into work and barely spent time with her son. No one had time for religion, so Joe grew up with no concept of faith.

Then, a simple tract changed that trajectory.

“I was 10 and cycling at a park near my house when I was given a tract and invited to Sunday School. I was so tickled. Which kid in their right mind would spend their Sundays in school?” he said with a laugh. 

Joe on holiday with his mother, who raised him on her own.

He went home and told his mother, expecting her to see the joke. Instead, she saw an opportunity for her son to receive moral guidance and signed him up.  

“At first I was angry, but then I heard about hell and, out of sheer fear of eternal damnation, I accepted Christ. But it was just lip service. Nothing in my life changed,” he said.

When Joe was 15, their neighbour brought his mother and him to church.

“My mother was dating him at the time and soon, we were attending church regularly. Eventually, the Lord convicted him to reconcile with his ex-wife. My mother had to once again navigate the loss of love, but this time she had God to hold onto,” he said.

Two years later, his mother moved to Sabah to pursue a new relationship, leaving 17-year-old Joe to figure life out on his own. 

Encountering the Father’s heart 

With no role model to look up to and a flaky relationship with Jesus, Joe finished high school and, after two years in university, dropped out with no plan.

At his father’s suggestion, he joined the older man in doing property and investments, before deciding to forge his own path in sales and business development at 28.

At work, Joe hustled for a decade and chased after approval from others. But when night fell, the young man was left feeling empty and unfulfilled.

“I was still in church and, by this time, God had become more real to me. But it was more of a master-servant relationship as this was the dynamic I’d had with my earthly father,” he said.

Then a conversation changed everything.  

Joe reconnected with a primary school friend he had not seen for many years. She had known of his family situation, so he spilled all the pent-up anger inside him. 

“She listened and said, ‘If you don’t tell your father how you feel, how can you expect him to know how you feel?’” Joe recounted.

As he pondered the question, he realised he had locked himself in the cage of idealism.

For years, he had held his father to impossible expectations, and was angry that the older man could not meet them.

“I realised only a perfect Father without sin or weaknesses could meet my needs. My eyes were opened, and I began to turn to God to heal my broken heart,” he said quietly.

“I was 32 when I had this breakthrough. Thus began my journey as a son of God.”

A life, redeemed 

Nine years on, Joe is a transformed man.

He brims with confidence, laughs freely and lights up whenever the conversation takes an interesting turn. At times, he admits, he cannot recognise himself.

“My relationship with God has transformed not just how I see myself, but how I see the world. Work, purpose, relationships – everything has found meaning again because I am now aware of my Father’s hand at work and His heart for all of us,” he said. 

Instead of a performance-driven faith, he now lives in surrender to God. He is gentle with himself and others, and finds joy in digging into God’s Word and being in community with other believers.

Joe (middle) with Focus on the Family Malaysia honorary chairman Lee Wee Min (left) and executive director Benny Kong.

He smiles shyly when he speaks of his girlfriend, whom he first met in his previous role with World Vision Malaysia.

“I used to take relationships lightly and write marriage off completely, but God has changed my heart to recognise the value of healthy, godly relationships. He is a relational God, and He created us for relationship,” he shared.

He has also forgiven his father, who moved abroad to live with his fourth wife and their children. They do not meet often, but he holds no grudges against him and speaks of him kindly. 

Today, Joe is working with Focus on the Family Malaysia, building strategic partnerships and driving programmes that help families thrive. He also serves on the Haggai Alumni Subang Working Committee and desires to see more Christians rise up in their spheres of influence.

Now working with Focus on the Family Malaysia, Joe builds partnerships with churches, businesses and organisations to build healthy families.

With the Haggai Alumni Subang Working Committee. Haggai International equips Christians in the marketplace to reach their cultures and bring the Gospel.

Joe knows his life is a story of redemption, and that God is still not finished.  

“I honestly don’t know what comes next, but I’m excited to discover what God’s plans for me are, and how my past can be a light that points others to Him. I’m so different from who I used to be,” he reflected.  

“For so many years, life was empty and meaningless. Now it’s filled with hope and purpose, all because I realised who my Father is and made the journey home.” 

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