Ng Chih Chung knows what it’s like to have a life destroyed by drugs.

Spurred by curiosity, he first began popping sleeping pills as a 14-year-old before moving on to marijuana, heroin and ice. Soon he was hooked, dependent on the high the drugs offered.

He was first arrested in his early twenties and sentenced to a year behind bars. Though he promised himself that there would not be a second time, he eventually found himself in and out of jail seven times over the next three decades.

A mother’s heartache

His addiction cost him not just his freedom but the relationships he had with those closest to him.

Not wanting his family to find out about his growing addiction, young Chih Chung began withdrawing from them, including his mother with whom he had been close.

She found out anyway.

He remembers the time his mother entered his room while he was in the toilet. “All my drugs were there on the floor and I’m sure she saw it. I saw the expression on her face. She was very sad and hurt but didn’t say anything to me and walked back to her room,” he recounted. 

Chih Chung with his mother.

Whenever he was in prison, she worried for him. Though she was a woman of few words, her questions during her visits revealed a deep concern for her son: “Do you have enough to eat? Are the sleeping conditions okay? Are you being bullied?”

It pained Chih Chung to know that he had failed to be a good son. Still, he struggled to change.

Broken promises

More broken relationships followed.

During his longest stretch of four years out of jail, he got married and became a father. But he was arrested again when his elder son was just 17 months old and his younger son was about to be born.

After he was released, he promised them that he would never be apart from them again. But he was arrested again … and again.

He remembers having to explain to his sons, who were nine and 10 years old then, that he had to break his promise to them and return to jail.

“Either I go back into prison or I’ll die (from my addiction),” he had told them sombrely. It was heartbreaking to see the disappointment on their faces and even more painful to hear their words to him. 

“Don’t die,” his elder son replied. “Just go in and after a few years we will see each other again.” His younger son added: “When you come out, you must come and look for me.”

Giving God a shot 

It grieved Chih Chung that he would not be able to watch his children grow up. It hurt him to know that all he had given his mother over these years were worry and pain.

Deep down, he yearned to love his family. He knew that to truly do so, he needed to ditch his addiction once and for all. But he had tried everything and nothing had worked.

Then a thought came to him: Why not give God a try?

When he was growing up, his father had sent him and his siblings to church every Sunday even though the older man was not a believer. Sometime in Primary 6, however, Chih Chung stopped attending.

Over the years there were people in his life who encouraged him to place his trust in God again, but he would refuse to respond. “I would just run away from Him. I wanted to go my own way,” said Chih Chung.

Yet this time, he felt his heart soften. He was also reminded of the testimonies of former addicts who had turned their lives around with God’s help.

Running out of options, he prayed: “God, I’m in such a terrible state. But if you still want me, I give you my life.”

Miraculous reconciliation

In the five years since he uttered that prayer of surrender, Chih Chung, who was most recently released in March 2021, has found that he is not alone as he works to turn his life around.

“God really loves me a lot. I know that God is holding my hand,” he said.

He sees God’s hand in the everyday things, like providing him with a job he is passionate about at Decathlon and helping him to fight temptation when it arises.

Chih Chung with his sons.

What Chih Chung is most thankful for is how God restored the relationships he had broken in the past. 

During his last incarceration of about four years, he did not have any contact with his sons and prayed every day that God would preserve his relationship with them.

The day he was released, he reached out to them through his ex-wife. Though he expected to meet with some resistance from her, she graciously picked up his call and even turned on her phone camera so that Chih Chung could see and chat with his sons.

“I apologised to them for breaking my promise and that I wasn’t able to be there for them and with them. They were both very accepting and said that it’s okay, the past is the past,” he said, adding that he is thankful that God granted them a smooth reconciliation.

These days, Chih Chung enjoys hanging out with his father (second from right) and two sons.

By God’s grace, he has also reconciled with many other relatives including his father and sister, and appreciates simple joys like spending time with them during gatherings and being included in family photos.

However, there is one sorrow: His mother passed away a few months before he was released in 2021.

Choking up with emotion, he said: “That is the biggest regret that I have, that she didn’t get to witness my change. I just wish that she knew she didn’t have to worry about me, but I trust that God has His reasons.”

Breaking the cycle

Apart from restoring his relationships, God has also provided Chih Chung with a new community. This is something that the 51-year-old is thankful for, especially since he has stopped contacting friends from his old life.

This group of supportive friends came from a cycling group called Break the Cycle SG, which aims to use the sport of cycling to help ex-convicts break the cycle of recidivism (reoffending).

Comprised of cycling enthusiasts from all walks of life, the group goes on rides around Singapore thrice a week and bond through their mutual love of cycling and food.

Chih Chung during his first night ride with Break the Cycle SG.

“I see this as God’s blessing to me. We look out for each other and have a motto of leaving no man behind, not only in cycling but in life,” said Chih Chung, adding that he was touched when some of them showed up at his baptism.

Chih Chung’s baptism.

When he shared that being accountable to others helps him to fight temptation, one member told him: “Now you’re accountable to Break the Cycle.”

Said Chih Chung. “I’m applying this theory in my life. Being accounted for now, I cannot go back to drugs because I don’t want to fail them.”

Simply abiding

As he keeps his footsteps on the straight and narrow, Chih Chung clings to John 15:5 which reminds him of the need to abide in Christ daily.

Chih Chung (first row, sixth from right) with friends and family who came to witness his baptism, including his friends from Break the Cycle.

“To me this means that I must always remember Him, think of Him and consider Him in all that I do,” he said, adding that knowing and experiencing God’s love for him has inspired him to choose God’s way above his own.

He added humbly: “Whatever bad things you see in me is of myself. Whatever good you see in me is of God. Hopefully, more and more, you will see more of God in me and less of myself.”

Are you a cycling enthusiast? Support ex-convicts like Chih Chung in their journey of recovery by participating in a fundraising challenge called “Everesting for Second Chances”. “Everesting” is a term that refers to the activity in which people scale and descend a hill until they accumulate 8,848 metres – the height of Mount Everest – in elevation gain. 

Proceeds from the fundraising will go to HCSA Highpoint, which support ex-offenders in their reintegration. For more details, click here.

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