Why can’t we have it all?

There is so much that we want out of life:

• A comfortable life with adequate material possessions – at the minimum a nice house, functional car, good education for us and our kids, sufficient holidays, up-to-date technology.
• A fulfilling romantic relationship, preferably leading to offspring.
• Positive relationships with our family and supportive friends.
• A challenging and interesting career, including professional development, some travel and access to promotions.
• Opportunity to pursue leisure activities, sports and/or hobbies.
• Good health, with physical and mental ability to maximise opportunities to enjoy life.
• Opportunity to belong to a vibrant Christian community with excellent Bible teaching and heart-stirring worship.

Striving for all these gets exhausting, especially since many of them – such as meeting the right partner, having children and maintaining good health – are outside our control.

Also, many of them do not have limits. For example, defining a comfortable life depends on where we live and to whom we compare ourselves; and our concept of necessities for comfort will tend to expand as we get older.

A biblical view on our desires

What is more, not many of these desires stand up to biblical scrutiny. We are never promised a comfortable life, fulfilling relationships, meaningful work or play, perfect health, or a church that meets our needs. By contrast, we are invited to join Christ in His suffering (1 Peter 43:12-13), to work with what we have (1 Corinthians 4:12), to serve others rather than seek to be served (Mark 10:45), and to be content whatever the circumstances (Philippians 4:11-12).

The temptation to have it all can easily lead to drivenness, where we lose sight of God and others in our desire to either accumulate wealth or make a name for ourselves.

How driven are you at work?

Here are good questions to check how much your work controls you:

• How do you value your work: By how much you are paid, or by how your work aligns with what God values?
• Do you depend on work or on God? Do you work to increase your sense of self-worth?
• How demanding is your work? Does it take precedence over faith and/or family?
• How much do you allow work to intrude into your life? Do you check emails or answer calls when at home, on weekends, or on holidays?
• How much do you use work to avoid your other responsibilities or issues? Is it a means of avoiding a deeper faith, or family relationships? Does your working hard mask a failure to deal with other issues or addictions?

The empty promise of work idolatry

I had a good friend whose father worked really hard for a chemical engineering factory. He spent long days at work, and my friend and her brother hardly saw him when they were growing up. His wife, their mother, sadly was diagnosed with cancer while they were children. At last, he took his eyes off work. But it was too late. She died, and he was already estranged from the children.

One day, after her dad had retired, he came to her ashen-faced. He had been sitting on the train going past his old workplace – and it was gone. The factory was completely knocked down and the metal and bricks taken offsite. All that was left was a hole in the ground. He came to his daughter to apologise for all the time he spent at work when he should have been spending time with her.

The first step to achieving work-life balance is to ensure that we have a right attitude toward work, and life, as gifts from God to be used in his service as acts of worship. It is that offering of our work which lasts, not the physical place of our working.

A biblical view of rest and play

One of the fundamental concepts of rest is that God has set an example for us in resting. In Genesis 2:2-3, we see God resting from the work He had done. This was enshrined in the Ten Commandments, as a way of honouring God (Exodus 20:8-11). As Jesus pointed out, this concept of the Sabbath was also made for our sake (Mark 2:27).

Another way of looking at rest is in the chronology of creation: Human beings were made on the 6th day, rested with God on the 7th. Rest is something we do to work effectively.

God has also created us with playful hearts. I love the way Jesus had a balance between teaching, praying and playing. He socialised, went to weddings, invited people to dinner, and seemed to enjoy just hanging out with people. He went boating, walking and climbing.

There are two dangers in our attitude to play: One is that we enjoy play too much, “amusing ourselves to death” as Neil Postman warned; we cry out to be entertained, as Nirvana sang.

The second danger is that we work at our leisure such that we rob it of its playful and recreational nature. I see people slaving at fitness, ticking off a bucket list of activities, and seeking adrenalin-fuelled pursuits. We need to do leisure activities that are fun, develop our gifts, increase our capacity and enhance our relationships.

Reordering our priorities for balance

However, to achieve balance, we need to do more than merely share out work, rest and play. We need to know what is important to God. That means we need a biblical view of home and community, to sustain us socially and be a place of sanctuary, respect, and grace; of our own relationship with God, as we seek to be in the centre of His will and plan for us; and of our physical health, ensuring we get sufficient exercise and sleep, and eat well.

We also need to seek God’s guidance in managing our priorities. God gives us the responsibility of being good stewards of our time, our talent and our treasure, but provides much guidance in His Word.

Stewarding our time

In stewarding our time, we should read the Bible (2 Timothy 3: 16-17), pray (Mark 1:35), seek to build the kingdom (Matthew 28:18-20), work well (1 Corinthians 4:12; 2 Thessalonians 3:6-8) and rest (Exodus 20:8-1 1).

Stewarding our talents

In stewarding our talents, we should make sure we worship God (Colossians 3:17, 23), serve others (1 Peter 4:10), teach (Colossians 1:28), care (Acts 4:32-35), be creative (Exodus 31:1-5) and use our gifts (1 Corinthians 12:4-7).

Stewarding our treasure

In stewarding our treasure, we need to ensure we tithe (Leviticus 27:30; 2 Corinthians 8:1-13), provide for our family (1 Timothy 5:8), provide for others in need (Ephesians 4:28) and protect creation (Genesis 1:26).