Vicky Ho had strict rules for her children when it came to gaming and the use of digital devices.

Little did she expect the day when her older son pulled her aside with visible anxiety while they were at a mall.

Teary-eyed, the then-eight-year-old boy made her promise not to get angry, and “confessed that he had been secretly using grandma’s phone to watch Minecraft videos on YouTube”. 

The revelation caught her off-guard.

“I was torn between my surprise and the need to respond calmly. My first instinct was to express my anger,” recounted Vicky, 42. 

After all, she was well aware that early exposure to technology had much potential harm and had put in place the safeguards only for her children’s protection. 

But, “my son’s honesty touched me deeply” she said. “I was reminded that the value of honesty and openness should take precedence over enforcing rules.

“Instead, I assured him and encouraged him to share his feelings.”

Tech that connects

Her sons are now 12 and seven, and Vicky has found that her approach to their ventures into the digital world has had to evolve.

As their children grow, the Chiangs have learnt to adapt their rules on the use of digital devices.

“I now explain the ‘whys’ behind our rules so that my children understand the reasoning and can apply these principles in various situations.

“It is a journey of growth and adapting for both parents and children in this ever-changing digital world.”

While still mindful that there are untold dangers lurking in the online world, she conceded that technology has its pluses. It can bring parent-child relations to another level of closeness.

Her children do not have their own handphones but her older son has a laptop for school. “He began initiating communication with my husband and I via Google Chat,” she shared.

“This became a platform for him to tell us about significant or emotional matters more comfortably than through face-to-face conversations.

“As a parent, I’ve come to realise that I can relate to my children’s joys and challenges in the digital world.

“We share in each other’s excitement when discovering new apps or games. We also struggle to strike a healthy balance in giving attention to both family and school or work.”

E-savviness for all

To help parents embrace technology as a means of connecting and conversing with their children, Focus on the Family Singapore’s Children’s Day campaign this year shines the spotlight on healthy digital habits.  

Dubbed Capture the Wonder: Taking on Digital Adventures, the campaign is supported by Digital for Life and IMDA, and recognises the urgency of inculcating digital resilience and media literacy from a young age.

In preparation for Children’s Day, Focus on the Family Singapore has released e-resources to help parents guide their children in the digital world. Photo courtesy of Focus on the Family Singapore.

Research has shown that more youths are turning to the digital world as a way to self-soothe when experiencing stress.

Hence, the resources Focus has made available include handles for parents via parent stories and bite-sized content on social media, as well as digital material entitled, “The Wonder Guide: How to Nurture Your Relationships while Navigating the Digital Playground“.

The e-guide features:

• The importance of teaching your child to navigate digital spaces
• Practical tips to build meaningful connections with your child through digital media
• Fun ideas to bond digitally at home

Said CEO of Focus, Delia Ng: “With the proliferation of digital and social media, this generation of children is being raised in an environment where a myriad of narratives contend for their hearts and minds.

“Building a strong parent-child relationship is a critical protective factor in supporting every child’s holistic development to be future-ready, especially in raising resilience and media literacy.

“Being present for our children and expressing interest in their lives especially in this digital age communicate love and value to the parent-child relationship beyond mere rules and boundaries.”

The  Children’s Day campaign runs from September 29 to October 9, 2023. Resources may be downloaded here.

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