In his primer on the spiritual life, Making All Things New, Henri Nouwen points out that there are two fundamental spiritual disciplines needed for our life in Christ. The first is solitude. 

“Without solitude, it is virtually impossible to live a spiritual life. Solitude begins with a time and place for God, and Him alone. If we really believe not only that God exists but also that he is actively present in our lives – healing, teaching and guiding– we need to set aside a time and space to give him our undivided attention.”

If God has given us His Word and His Spirit to guide us, we need solitude to hear what He is saying to us through His Word and His Spirit. We must set aside space and time to listen to Him.

The place of solitude and prayer in decision-making is modelled by Jesus Himself. For example, Jesus sought out His Father in solitude before He decided who would be His initial 12 disciples (Luke 6:12-16).

Sometimes, like Elijah in 1 Kings 19, we have to be patient and let the loud noises in our lives die down before we can hear the “gentle whisper” (1 Kings 19:9-13a).

If we are serious about discerning what God’s calling for us might be, we must commit ourselves to times of solitude when we can hear Him. 

Honest counsel

The second spiritual discipline that Nouwen says we need is community. He says: “Community as discipline is the effort to create a free and empty space among people where together we can practice true obedience.”

Again, Waltke is helpful. He reminds us of why we need to seek God’s guidance in community: “It is necessary to have a number of counsellors to offset the weaknesses, ignorance, and limitations of each individual.

“Each resolution succeeds because it emerges out of humility and trust as members submit themselves to be corrected in open, honest counsel.”

So, while we must spend time in solitude to allow the Word and the Spirit to speak, we also need to discern God’s calling in community. We need peers, spiritual friends who will share with us what we need to hear, not what we want to hear. And we will need spiritual mentors and directors who will help us hear the Lord more clearly. 

ABC guideposts 

Three clues to guide vocational discernment:

We are grateful for God’s resources for discernment and the spiritual disciplines that help us to tap on those resources. But are there any clues to guide our discernment?

I believe there are three: What is my primary ability, what is my main burden, and what are the critical incidents that have shaped my life?

A: Ability

The first clue is this: What is my primary ability?

“[W]e can note that some are multitalented, they do two or three things well. Yet, over time it becomes apparent that there is one strength, one capacity that is closer to the root of their being, closer to their heart, and something they must do if they are going to be who they were created to be.”

My calling must enable me to be a good steward of my main strength.

B: Burden

The second clue is this: What is my main burden?

“We often ask why the world is the way it is – why there is suffering, why there is pain, why there is distortion – but some people will feel more righteously angry than others, and this may be just their unique purpose.”

There are many needs in a fallen world. Is there a burden that I cam particularly concerned about? My calling must allow me to be a good steward of my primary burden.

C: Critical life incidents

The third clue is this: What are the Critical life incidents that have shaped my life? What are the defining moments that have made me who I am?

As Dan Allender puts it: “Listen to your stories. They reveal a pattern of roles you’ve played throughout your life … [T]he being that a person is at age three still has some overlap with the inner world of that same person at age 93. A coherent sense of self lasts over a lifetime, and what is retained over a lifetime speaks to the unique role of character you are to play out on God’s stage. What lasts, yet grows and matures to an even greater glory, reveals your thematic calling.”

My calling must allow me to be a good steward of experiences that have shaped me.

These then are the A, B, Cs of our discernment as we reflect on what our unique life mission might be.

A: Abilities
B: Burdens
C: Critical life incidents

Discovering our calling then is a call to pay attention to our lives. In personal reflection and with the help of trusted friends, we look out for what we do well, what we are concerned for, and for guidance from the experiences that have defined us.

This is an extract from Discover Your Calling: The ABC of Vocational Discernment by Soo-Inn Tan of Graceworks. Republished with permission.

The book can be purchased directly from Graceworks at $14, including free shipping. Buy it here. 

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