In Numbers 11:14, Moses lamented that he was overwhelmed, telling the Lord: “I am not able to carry all this people alone; the burden is too heavy for me.” (Numbers 11:14)

In Numbers 13, 10 of the 12 spies came back from the Promised Land feeling overwhelmed, not by the fruit they carried on their shoulders but, by the giants they saw:

“And they came to the Valley of Eshcol and cut down from there a branch with a single cluster of grapes, and they carried it on a pole between two of them; they also brought some pomegranates and figs.”

They reported to Moses and Aaron, “We came to the land to which you sent us. It flows with milk and honey, and this is its fruit.”

This could be the start of the final phase of the Exodus journey – to go into the Promised Land. But it was not so, as the scouts were frightened and felt overwhelmed.

They went on to say: “The land, through which we have gone to spy it out, is a land that devours its inhabitants, and all the people that we saw in it are of great height. And there we saw the Nephilim (the sons of Anak, who come from the Nephilim), and we seemed to ourselves like grasshoppers, and so we seemed to them.” (Number 13:32-33 ESV).

The way ahead was clear, the land was beautiful but the spies doubted.

A grasshopper experience

My own “grasshopper” experience of stumbling even though the way ahead seems clear was at the Tiger Leaping Gorge. This goes back to the 1980s when Singaporeans had to first get permission from our own immigration department to visit China, and then apply for a tourist visa from the Chinese Embassy.

I did all that and so was excited to venture into the Middle Kingdom. After days of buses and train, I was at the foot of the Jade Dragon Snow Mountains in Yunnan. I came here to do the scenic two-day hike along the Tiger Leaping Gorge. This is where the wide and mighty Yangtze river is squeezed by the majestic mountains in a narrow valley. The huge volume of water roars through a narrow canyon. The hike is along a rocky footpath with 4,000 metres of snow-capped peaks on one side and a precipitous plunge down to the river on the other.

Legend has it that villagers chased a killer tiger to the banks of the river and thought they will surely capture it but the Yangtze River was so narrow here that the tiger jumped across and escaped.

A lone hiker feels small among these high rocks and formidable cliffs.

I settled into the only inn at the foot of the mountains, ready to spend the night in a dormitory bunk bed, sleeping early for a 5am start the next day. The few available guidebooks gave clear directions about the route. It also warned about slippery sections, sudden windstorms and narrow ledges. There would be men with their donkeys and mules carrying supplies into the villages yonder. Farmers will be carrying agriculture produce – heavy loads on poles balanced on their shoulders.

Unlike today when Bibles are fairly easily available, Bibles were rare in those days, especially so in these remote areas. A friend had given me two Bibles and I had lugged them along on my shoulders, not with poles but with a small backpack.

As I went to bed that night, I prayed three requests:

1. Good weather for the hike
2. Someone to hike with
3. Someone to give the Bibles to

Early the next morning, I woke up and gave thanks that the skies looked clear. I checked my day pack, making sure that I had enough food, water, rolls of film for my camera, sunblock and a hat. I was about to walk out of the dormitory but hesitated as I felt that my day pack was a tad too heavy. I decided to leave the two Bibles on my bunk, thinking that I would hand them out after the hike.

It was a beautiful blue-sky day indeed. The remnant cloud of river mist guided novices like me to the start of the canyon. I could hear the roar of the river. The scenery was way more stunning than what the guidebooks described. The caravans of mules and donkeys trudged on with heavy loads. I again thanked the Lord for answering my prayers for good weather and I hummed “How Great Thou Art” while looking at the vast blue skies.

Missing Bibles

After a short and steep climb, I was at the unmarked entrance to the Tiger Leaping Gorge, noticeable by the narrowing of the trail that led upwards into the towering peaks.

I had considered the risks of doing this hike alone and wondered if I should head back. It was then that I noticed a young man sitting under a tree. He waved and was delighted to find out that I was going to hike into the gorge. He was a local chap, a young man from the Yi minority ethnic group.

“My village is almost a two-day walk up these mountains . I am just waiting to see if there is anyone that can walk together with me. It is quite far to walk alone.”

Wow … the LORD answered my prayer for a companion! And a local person who knew the path well too. I was elated. As we walked, we passed village farmers carrying heavy loads of fruit and vegetables coming down from the mountains. The Yi youth explained that they were bringing them out to sell at the market. He soon learnt that I am from Singapore and was surprised that we did not have mountains or farms like them.

Some 10 minutes into the trail, he asked me: “Are you from Singapore?”

“Yes,” I replied, thinking it strange as I thought he already knew.

He asked: “Do you have a Bible? I would like to have one.”

I was to answer “yes” but shivered a little when I remembered that I had taken the Bibles out of my day pack and left them in the dormitory. I had none to give to him.

See the land, trust the promise

The rest of the Tiger Leaping Gorge hike was an anti-climax for me. I wandered along the trail, but no longer was awed by the peaks nor the valleys. I felt awful about not being able to give him a Bible. I took out my camera, took two photos and left the other rolls of film unused.

The night before, I had brought three requests before the Lord. I was on a journey to see the beautiful land. Just like the children of Israel who had asked for manna and meat, of which the Lord supplied, I had asked for good weather and companionship and God provided. But I did not expect that the Lord would answer my prayers by weaving my needs for good weather and partnership into one beautiful plot.

I did not have the faith nor insight to trust that God’s provision for me also entails His provision for the Yi villager. I did not have the eyes of faith to carry the somewhat heavy Bibles as I thought they will burden me and slow me down.

“We seem to ourselves as grasshoppers” – seeing the giants but forgetting the grace and genius of God. That’s how I felt at the end of the Tiger Leaping Gorge experience – I have seen the land but have missed the promise.

But I was also unsure about the complete lesson of the day. “Must I carry every burden set before me? Am I expected to shoulder extra weight always just in case someone has a need?”

I echo the prayer of Moses:

“So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” (Psalm 90:12)

Wisdom to know how to commit the giants as well the grasshoppers to the promises of God.

This series of devotional essays, linked to the book of Numbers and to the prayer that Moses wrote in Psalm 90, recalls times when Dr Tan Lai Yong was “so sure and yet had it wrong; was led so clearly yet I looked the wrong way or crept up the wrong alley”.

Check back for more devotionals on God’s guidance by Dr Tan Lai Yong in the following days. 

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