She was a working mum in a high-achieving leadership role, but for three years had agonised over the question if she should stay home to be with her children.

She had always dreamed of studying and working overseas, but a traumatic accident shook the picture-perfect family life she had carefully constructed over the years.

She was a senior educator who trained teachers how to manage students, but was shocked to one day discover that her own son was struggling in school. 

Each of these women had one thing in common: All three reached a turning point in their lives where they had to make a tough choice.

To trudge ahead as they had always done, or to take a step into uncharted territory?

Meet Jenny Lie, 47, the mother of two who left her full-time job to be a corporate trainer because that gave her flexibility to be a more present mum. During her time at home, she discovered her passion for baking and started Ten Butter Fingers with her daughter.

Having come to her second career crossroads recently, she made the decision to strike out on her own and embarked on a training consultancy with her husband, developing coaching programmes for couples, women and organisations.

Then there is Zoe Chu, 44, the entrepreneurial mum of four. After she and her unborn child survived a car crash, the accountant-turned-real estate agent uprooted her entire family from New Zealand to Singapore to be closer to her parents and siblings.

Realising that God had also given her a second chance at life, she began to live with a sense of urgency. Three years later, she founded Sleep Supernanny, a fast-growing business that is making an impact on families by helping them with sleep issues.

Finally, Serene Wu, 39, whose lifelong dream to be an educator took a hit after a phone call from her son’s preschool made her realise that she was not as connected to her child as she thought she was. 

Being a stay-home mum to two kids was not what she initially wanted, but in living out her faithful ministry to the family came other opportunities.

The first was to sell children’s books and write conversation guides, and the second, to conduct calligraphy classes, which she now does under a new platform called Sundays Dawn.

Before 2021, none of them expected that God would bring them together as “growth friends”, the term that the trio use to refer to one another because of how they sharpen one another. 

But just like how life has a way of unravelling surprises, Jenny, Zoe and Serene were divinely connected through social media, sparking a series of meet-ups that would eventually lead to their first-ever “work” collaboration.

The three met for the first time in November 2021. Jenny had invited Zoe and Serene to go on a trek with her. Photo courtesy of Jenny Lie.

Unveiling the inspiration behind TLC: Tea, Lyfe & Crossroads, Jenny said: “In August, as I was praying in church one day, I felt a prompting that said, ‘Go to Zoe and Serene, and get them to help you organise this event.'”

Unsure of how to broach this topic out of the blue, Jenny texted them anyway. To her surprise, both friends said “yes” and were even more enthusiastic about it than her.

“Everything happened so fast – less than under two months. It’s unbelievable!” recounted Jenny.

Adding that she only later realised that she had written down “organise a crossroads event” as a New Year’s resolution at the start of the year, Jenny confessed that she had completely forgotten about it.

But while planning the event, Jenny serendipitously came across that entry in her journal. “I got goosebumps!” she exclaimed. “I had totally forgot about it, but I was actually reminded that I needed to do it.”

Jenny, Zoe and Serene praying together before the start of the event. Photo courtesy of TLC.

Held on October 21 at The Westin Singapore, TLC was born out of a common desire to empower women in their 30s to 50s to navigate their pivotal crossroads in life.

True to the event’s tagline of “brewing courage and wisdom”, the cosy three-hour session included a sharing session by the three mothers, afternoon tea, time for personal reflection and space for many life-giving conversations.

Telling Living Room by Salt&Light why she had the inkling to plan something related to the theme of crossroads, Jenny said: “The crossroads season was a very painful season for me.

“Over the course of Ten Butters Fingers, people would ask me: ‘How did I overcome my crossroads?’ I felt I could not answer so many people, but this must certainly be a need in the community.

“Among my coaching clients, I also encountered people with the same struggles. I thought I was the only one struggling with it, but so many people are at the same crossroads I used to be at.”

Elaborating on how the event was divinely orchestrated, Jenny also remembered that she had been praying about TLC on the last day at her previous company when God spoke. 

“I was asking the Lord, ‘How are we going to do this?’ And I was shown this verse, so I knew exactly what would be the structure,” she said.

This is what the Lord says: “Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.” (Jeremiah 6:16)

This became the framework that was used to organise TLC, with the different segments meant to spur participants to do what it says in the verse: stand, ask and walk.

Close to 50 women attended the workshop, which included panel sharing, interactive circles and Q&A. This was also followed by a bonus group coaching session that participants could sign up for in the two weeks after the event. Photo courtesy of TLC.

“When we are facing crossroads, the first thing we want to do is stand,” Jenny pointed out.

“To stand up means we get ourselves ready in a posture that is ready for action, so we are not seated. It is a mindset shift when we stand up.”

The second thing to do is ask.

“Where have people gone ahead of you? What have people done before you? What inspirations can we get from people who have walked that journey?” explained Jenny.

“Also to ask what that future would look like for yourself. Many of us are too afraid to say, ‘Here is what I want. Here is what I don’t want.'” 

Finally, to walk.

“Do not just stand up and sit down. It is to actually take action – to really move that one step,” declared Jenny, adding that we do not have to know the final destination before we start walking. 

A journey of self-discovery

The first step is all about self-awareness, said the facilitators at TLC.

To stand and look means to assess and acknowledge the impact of your current situation on your well-being, motivation, relationships and self-confidence. 

For instance, Serene described going through a period of deep reflection after her six-year-old’s teachers voiced their concerns and shared a report from a classroom assessment with her.

Expressing her internal conflict, the junior-college-teacher-turned-stay-home-mum said: “I thought I was doing these wonderful and amazing things in school, but in my home unit, I was not even aware that my son was going through this and was not able to regulate his emotions.”

Recalling how much she had cried and prayed in the months that followed, Serene said: “That prompting came when I was seeking – values. What do you value? It was such a strong word. That led to me asking if what I am doing is in alignment with my values. 

“I value family, and I wrote that in all my journals – every single year. My priority is family. But when this happened I realised that my actions were not congruent with it.”

That year, she decided to speak with her principal to request for no-pay leave so that she could spend more time with her son.

“I really wanted to know, ‘How come I did not know all that was happening to him?’ But it was a very difficult decision because I love teaching,” she said.

Because of her decision to stay home, Serene had the chance to journey more closely with her firstborn in the lead-up to Primary 1. Photo courtesy of Serene Wu.

Another important question posed to participants at TLC under this segment was: Can you afford not to change? What is the impact if nothing changes?

“I would have felt that I was incongruent with my actions and my values of putting family as my priority if I did not do anything to change,” added Serene.

As for Zoe, the life-altering accident left her with not only broken bones, but also post-traumatic stress disorder and depression. At that time, she was also pregnant with her third child, who miraculously survived the ordeal.

Travelling to Singapore to spend time with family, it was here that she would be shaken by the news of the 2011 Christchurch earthquake, which claimed the lives of a boss she was close to and a few of her colleagues.

Devastated by their deaths, and still petrified by an earlier earthquake that she had to go through, Zoe knew that returning to New Zealand would have taken a toll on her mental health.

“I just wanted to make sure that my family was safe, and that I was safe,” she said.

“I experienced the first earthquake in September 2010 and the accident happened in December 2010. In fact, when I was in the hospital after the accident, there were still a lot of aftershocks. 

“Then the February earthquake happened in 2011 and my boss perished. I just could not bring myself to go back to New Zealand.”

Adding that she had already been thinking about coming back to Asia to be with her ageing parents, Zoe shared that being confronted with these major events tipped the scales.

To this day, she remains grateful for the support from her husband, who flew back alone to pack up their lives there and gave up the dental practice that he had established over a decade to start afresh in Singapore.

Now a mother of four, Zoe is glad she made the decision to raise her children in Singapore. Photo courtesy of Zoe Chu.

Getting unstuck

After taking time to think about your current crossroads and what would happen if nothing changed, the next step is to examine the fears you have in moving forward, suggested Jenny.

For Serene, these were some of the fears she had when she considered quitting her job as an educator.

• “What if I have no stable income after I leave my job?”
• “What if I lose my identity as a person who is able to make impact in a greater society?”
• “What if I feel left out of my career progression?”

She said: “But the Lord really encouraged me. He sent someone to tell me, ‘Our children are our first ministry, and we are their first teachers.’

“And if we don’t do a good job with our kids, how can we say we can do a good job with other people’s children?” 

Serene loved teaching, but she soon discovered that God could continue to use her passion in other ways. Photo courtesy of Serene Wu.

Clarifying that this exercise is meant to shift our own perspective, Serene remarked that these ‘What if’ statements can all be reframed to ‘Even if’ statements.

In her life, this would look something like:

• “Even if I have no stable income, is this going to be worth it?”
• “Even if I have no stable income, have I gotten skills that enable me to try out something that I never knew that I could?”
• “Even if I lose my identity as an impactful educator, what have I stand to gain?”

Our inner critic often tends to discourage. “But our courage also comes from how we speak to ourselves,” highlighted Serene.

Referencing a verse from the Bible, the rationale is this: Our words have immense power.

“The tongue has the power of life and death.” (Proverbs 18:21)

Standing at your crossroads, what fears do you have? Why not reframe them into positive statements and embrace your potential for growth?

“Growth is always beautiful. Do not stay where you are,” urged Jenny. “It will be very uncomfortable, but that discomfort will be a whole lot better than being stuck, which will also be uncomfortable.”

Daring to dream

After doing all the above, the next question that you might ask yourself is: Which path do I choose?

To do that, it is often easier to list down what you do not want to move towards a future that is more aligned with what you want, recommended Jenny. 

“We are decluttering our aspirations, like decluttering our clothes,” said Jenny, explaining that this often brings more clarity.

“What do you not want in your future self?” she asked.

Speaking from her own experience, Jenny said: “I did not want a full-time job that would take me away from my children when my kids were that young. I did not want work that would be another 7.30am to 7.30pm.”

“I also did not want to go back to finance,” she declared, adding that she had started her career as an auditor before going into corporate finance. 

As she approached the end of a decade in her role at her second crossroads, Jenny was also very clear that she did not want to continue being a corporate trainer for another 10 years. 

“I could memorise everything from back to front, front to back. But I did not want to do that anymore,” she said.

To find the path forward, crafting a “no-regrets future list” will also help, advised Jenny.

Recollecting her first crossroads 10 years ago, Jenny said: “At no point in time did I hear God say, ‘Jenny, leave.’ There was never an audible voice.

“But I know that at a church camp when my pastor asked the question, ‘If tomorrow is your last day, what would you do differently?’, I found myself crying and sobbing. And I knew that God was speaking to me even through that question.”

“I realised how much I longed to be at home with the children, but I was not doing that because I was really busy with work.”

For three years, Jenny struggled with her longing to be more present at home with her children. They were 7 and 9 years old when she decided to leave her full-time job. Photo courtesy of Jenny Lie.

What would your no-regrets future look like? Write down milestones, accomplishments, relationships or adventures that you are yearning to have, proposed Jenny. This could even be seemingly mundane desires.

“I wanted to have lunch with my children. I wanted to see them come down from the school bus. I wanted to bake their birthday cake. I wanted to just be very present,” said Jenny. 

At her second crossroads, Jenny also defined what she wanted, now that her children were more grown-up and not at home as much as before.

“I wanted to do more facilitation work. I wanted to go back to the time that I was doing branding and strategic communications, and engaging the public,” she explained.

“I have this last 10 years or so – the last chapter of my work life. I feel I want to contribute back.”

Expressing her desire to work with her husband, who also has professional experience as a trainer, she added: “Both Raymond and I want to leave a legacy in what we are doing.

“That was my no-regrets future because I did not want to work for the sake of money alone. I wanted to work in a way that I can feel totally fulfilled.”

As for Serene, her no-regrets future list during her first crossroads was similar to Jenny’s.

“I just wanted to be at my boys’ award ceremonies. I wanted to be at their performances. I wanted to be at their first days of school. But I was not able to do that as a teacher,” she said.

A birthday celebration in school: Serene is grateful that she gets to be part of special moments like these with her husband and two sons aged 6 and 10. Photo courtesy of Serene Wu.

Serene recognised that the other thing that she really wanted to pursue was calligraphy.

“It was something that I learnt eight years ago and really loved,” she observed. That push came when she was on no-pay leave and Covid-19 hit, closing schools and workplaces.

With her kids, her husband and her in-laws being at home 24/7, Serene felt overwhelmed.

She admitted: “Calligraphy was my coping mechanism, and I started posting about it on social media. Amazingly, there must have been people who were as bored as me, who realised that, ‘Oh wow, I want to learn that.’

“Then a company called me and said, ‘Serene, can you teach 100 of my clients to write through Zoom?’ I jumped at the idea even though I had never taught through Zoom. After that, it was amazing. The Lord opened so many doors.

“It is something that I want to do because I love teaching. I want to teach people who want to slow down with me. If I were to die tomorrow, I will have no regrets.”

Encouraging the participants at TLC to share one or two items on their no-regrets future list with another person, she added: “When we share with someone else, there is someone who is holding us accountable to what we are proclaiming and what we are saying.

“We also hear ourselves saying what we want – that is powerful.”

Taking action

Finally, courage comes from taking action.

Encouraging participants to begin with one step, Zoe said: “Do not be fearful of what you do not know. Just start somewhere.

“I did not come from a science background, but that did not stop me. I just poured my heart and soul into researching the science behind sleep, so that I could really educate my clients.”

Acknowledging that she only came to see God’s fingerprints in her life only much later, Zoe added: “I did not think of making this a career, but now I know that Sleep Supernanny is God’s calling for me.”

“Every time I dabbled in something, it was a stepping stone. But at that time, I did not know what it would lead to.”

Years before Sleep Supernanny started, Zoe had blogged about her experience with sleep training and set up an online baby store after the birth of her twins.

Due to her jobs in real estate and accounting, she had also picked up sales and networking skills, became savvy about finances and learnt how to pay attention to details.

When she relocated to Singapore, Zoe further grew in her people-helping skills through studying counselling and sharpened her writing skills as a ghostwriter.

All of this came in handy when she finally launched her sleep-training business and wrote a parenting book.

Today, Zoe takes delight in being able to touch lives and transform families by offering advice to sleep-deprived parents.

“To be an entrepreneur, you have got to be a jack of all trades,” she said.

“Everything I have dabbled in is not a failure. It is a matter of perspective right? To me, nothing is wasted.” 

Zoe recently celebrated 10 years of Sleep Supernanny with her clients and Dream Team at an anniversary bash in October 2023. Photo courtesy of Zoe Chu.

Serene, too, did not know what lay ahead when she stepped away from her full-time teaching job. 

From co-founding a children’s book business (Love Bonds) in 2019, to pivoting to calligraphy workshops in 2020, and starting Sundays Dawn in 2023, there was no way that she could have imagined herself teaching calligraphy instead of just writing for herself.

“That was me saying, ‘I just feel like writing because I kind of miss it.’ It was not a huge thing; it was a small thing. But that was one little step forward,” she said. 

This year, Serene added that she was also intentional to set aside Fridays as her “growth days”, taking up classes that would help her grow.

As a result, Sundays Dawn was birthed, with Serene hoping to incorporate the knowledge she had gleaned from attending a life coaching course. More than just calligraphy lessons, her heart is to see personal growth and positive change in the lives of the community she is building.

Calling it “a God-given inspiration”, Serene further revealed that she had heard God speak to her very clearly on Good Friday about using Sundays Dawn as a space to inspire others.

“On the dawn of Sunday, when Mary went to find Jesus at the tomb, she could not find Jesus’ body, so that was the embodiment of hope. There was hope – that He resurrected,” she noted.

A week later, Serene set up the Instagram page for Sundays Dawn. 

Serene now teaches regularly through Zoom, introducing many to the beauty of brush pen calligraphy. Photo courtesy of Serene Wu.

Participants at TLC were asked: What is one courageous step that you can commit to doing within the next one week? This can simply be:

• “I can start talking to…”
• “I will start finding out more about…”

Words such as “I can” or “I will” are statements of declaration and commitment. 

Pointing out that courage can also come from others, Jenny said: “When I look at the word ‘en-courage’, it is to put courage in someone else who does not have courage.”

Sharing that she was surprised by the encouragement she had received from her former boss, she recalled that he had said: “Jenny, I am not afraid of letting you go, so that you can do what is important to you.”

Posing the question to TLC participants, Jenny asked: “Is there someone who can guide you in your journey, someone whom you can create an appointment with? That mentor, that boss?”

Attesting to the power of seeking help, Zoe said: “When I started Sleep Supernanny, I actually tried to do it on my own. But when I started having a mentor in my life, the transformation was nothing short of amazing.

“That mentor asked me all the right questions and guided me step by step on what I could do to scale my business.

“For the first five years of my business, it was very, very slow. But once I got a mentor, it was just like a rocket.”

Zoe with her sleep consultants whom she calls her Dream Team. From trying to do everything herself, she now has a group of women she leads and mentors. Photo courtesy of Zoe Chu.

Summing up how she sees the decision-making process at crossroads, Jenny outlined: “It starts off with a longing or a desire, and then there is an open door – an opportunity to do something, like meet someone or try out a new programme.

“As we do that in obedience, God unfolds that vision for us. He shows us only after we have taken those steps.”

Certainly, this journey also necessitates walking closely with God and hearing from Him, emphasised Jenny.

Sharing about her recent crossroads in which she left her corporate trainer role after 10 years, Jenny said: “I just felt a sense of there was something more at hand, but I did not know what it was. So I kept asking God to show me.

“I would be proactive in searching, but I would not jump without knowing.”

After a year, the answer became clear when Jenny received a request (through Ten Butter Fingers, the community that she had built from her baking business) to conduct a workshop for couples to handle their conflicts better.

That is why she and her husband decided to take that step forward to use the experience they had from running pre-marital counselling courses in church to writing an entire facilitation programme for couples to build strong marriages. 

Jenny and her husband, Raymond, at the Art of Oneness retreat. This was organised as part of a series of marriage workshops that they started offering to the public. Photo courtesy of Jenny Lie.

Outlining that this is how she usually approaches decisions, Jenny said: “I pray and wait for God to show me the right timing. I never jump ahead of His time. If it is not time, I know that lessons get repeated.

“I could have just quit my job. But I always ask myself, ‘Is this what Jenny wants? Or is this what God wants for me?’

“If this is what God wants that for me, then there would be peace in the decision-making and peace in the people around me.

“People around me would not feel like I have betrayed them or let them down. But there would be a readiness of letting go, and for me to let go as well.

“So I always wait until I sense clarity, and I know that clarity would bring peace.”

True to what she had just shared, when asked if we could expect to see more TLC events down the road, Jenny added: “Prayerfully, yes. We realise how powerful God’s hand has been in this entire journey.

“There is a desire to create a community, a desire to do more events. But I think we want to be prayerful about it, so that we do not do this by our own strength.

“We are going to go back to God. If He impresses upon our hearts the next event, we will definitely step up and run with it. 

“We do not want to run ahead of Him. Where He leads is where we will follow.”

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