His 22-year battle with drugs caused his wife and daughters to draw away from him; his daughter even disowned him.

This is a story of reconciliation, a Father’s love and how love overcomes all.

Jack Koh, 65, was only 19 years old when he came into contact with bad company and more – he shares that he “was from the hippie era” of marijuana.

Before he knew it, he was dabbling with more hardcore substances such as heroin, and was even detained in the army detention barracks.

This is the story of Jack, a youth full of wilful energies. He met his wife, Julie, and they married in 1978. However, his drug habit continued, and led to another addiction: Gambling.

“I was from the hippie era of the 80s. Check out how long my hair used to be,” says Jack.

Deep in addiction

When his first daughter Josephine was born, instead of caring for her, Jack refused to give up on his habits and lifestyle.

His own father was so upset that he slapped him and gave him a piece of his mind.

“After slapping me, he said that I was not even fit to be human and left in a huff,” Jack shares. The situation did not improve, and Jack and his father would remain estranged for almost a decade.

“My wife and I met at our company. We danced together at a company Dinner & Dance and that was it,” says Jack.

After five years, when his third daughter was born, his wife Julie could not take it any more and left the house with the two girls and young baby in tow.

He was devastated, and during the month that she left him, it felt like the world had stopped.

“During that one month … I cried by myself in the middle of the night, wondering why I was left without a family even though I had one.”

However, his deep entanglement with drugs and debt continued, and he was also gambling and borrowing from loan sharks as well. 

By 1994, he was on the brink of divorce and was about to be declared a bankrupt.

All that changed when he discovered his faith and decided to join a halfway house and commit to his recovery.

The light at the end of the tunnel 

His journey to recovery begin at HCSA Highpoint Halfway House, where he joined a one-year programme and overcame his 20-year drug habit for good.

During that one year, he battled and overcame his addiction through the programme, which included counselling, work skills training, emotional and spiritual growth, combined with encouragement from his wife and guidance from his mentors.

After graduating from the programme, he joined the halfway house as a staff member. He also restored his relationship with his wife. Julie forgave him, did not give up on him, and even encouraged him in his recovery journey.

Over the years, Jack grew in his leadership and was appointed as assistant director of the halfway house. His job was to care for over 50 residents, who were either former prisoners or walk-in residents who wanted to begin their recovery journey.

But it was during these years when his first daughter, Josephine, went through her teenage years of rebellion. Having grown up knowing her dad when he was using drugs, she “disowned” him and found it difficult to relate to him.

It was a challenging period as Jack had to bear the stress of his rebellious daughter and manage the needs of the halfway house at the same time. 

Father and son 

Jack had to also learn to become a better son to his father.

After over 10 years of estrangement, he reached out to his dad and they rekindled their bonds. Although his father passed away five years later, they had spent valuable time rebuilding their relationship and his father learnt to forgive and love him.

Sunday night dinners with the Koh family. From left to right: Jack and Julie’s youngest daughter, Jacqueline, Julie, Jack, and their oldest daughter,  Josephine.

During this time, Jack also reached out to Josephine, and improved their relationship. Today, Josephine shares: “I am extremely proud of my dad and respect him as a true hero … he overcame immense challenges to be who he is today.”

Starting New Charis Mission 

Today, Jack is the proud co-founder of the charity, The New Charis Mission, which he started in 2006 with Don Wong, his personal mentor, pastor and boss.

Don was instrumental in Jack’s personal victory over drugs and gambling, and helped him mend relationships with his wife and daughter.

“I feel very satisfied. For 20 plus years I couldn’t overcome this addiction, and there is a sense of achievement in finally overcoming it. This serves as motivation for me never to turn back and go to drugs again,” Jack says about his life journey.

Since then, he has helped hundreds of other ex-offenders gain victory over their addiction and re-integrate into society. He has shared his life story time and again.

To Jack, nothing is more precious than spending time with his family. Some of their favourite memories include travelling together every year to different destinations such as South Korea, Thailand and Vietnam.

Every Fathers’ Day, Jack’s three daughters give him gifts. To him, it is not the gift but the thought that counts. He proudly reveals that he has kept every handmade gift he has received for the past 22 years.

Jack shows one of his favourite Fathers’ Day gifts – a handmade cup by his youngest daughter, Jacqueline.

“To me, there are two things are the most important in my life: My faith, and my family. The family bonds were so strong that they never gave up on me through my struggles. It is not the home that makes a family, it is the people – my wife and daughters, that make my family.”

Jack shares the values he would like to pass on to his daughters: “Money and things rust; I hope they will always chase after the timeless values of love and faith all the days of their life.”

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