He was the invited speaker, she was the singer.

They met at the 10th anniversary celebration of a missionary training organisation in India.

Musician Benny Prasad, who had just broken the world record for travelling to 245 countries in the shortest time, was sharing his extraordinary journey of going from a suicidal school dropout to performing for Presidents around the world.

Benny made multiple flight changes across five continents – spending 36 hours and 25 minutes in the air – before taking an eight-seater charter flight to reach Antarctica. There, he did a mini lunch concert and shared his story with geologists, scientists and others stationed there.

Zanbeni (centre) in 2009, attending the School of Worship after she had emerged from her self-imposed isolation at home.

Benny and Zanbeni did not speak with each other at that 2014 event. But shortly afterwards, when their paths crossed, he casually mentioned that he was looking for a life partner.

“He told me, ‘Please let me know if you come across anybody!’” Zanbeni, now 39, told Stories of Hope.

Nothing came out of that conversation.

(Below, Zanbeni and Benny perform an R&B, jazz and Indian classical rendition of  worship song, “Waymaker”.)

But one-and-a-half years later, Zanbeni’s boss, who was Benny’s friend, told Benny that Zanbeni had just returned from a nine-month course.

“He suggested to Benny, ‘Why don’t you pray about her as your future partner?’” said Zanbeni.

“So we had an intentional conversation in April 2016 about whether we should marry. It all happened over WhatsApp – not even a call!”

Proposal over WhatsApp 

Benny had a few conditions. His future wife needed to be willing to live with him in Bangalore, and under possibly difficult living conditions as he was a missionary – a “musician-ary”, he called himself, as he shared God’s love through his music and life story. She also had to be willing to travel with him.

He asked Zanbeni for a recording of her singing.

Zanbeni had been “praying for a man who loves Jesus, and with whom I could serve the Lord together”.

“We both felt peace when we were texting each other, so we continued.

“On the fifth day of WhatsApping, Benny messaged, ‘I think we should let our parents know before we go further’,” recalled Zanbeni.

“I wasn’t sure what he meant. So I asked, ‘Is that a proposal?’

“He said, ‘I don’t know how to propose, so if you think it is, so be it.’”

A news clipping from Bombay Times announcing their wedding. The photo was taken in May 2016 when they first met in person after deciding over WhatsApp to marry each other.

Zanbeni, who grew up in Nagaland, shared the news with her mum, who happened to read about Benny in the newspapers that day.

“So it was not very difficult to convince my parents,” said Zanbeni.

Their wedding invitation resembled a passport, a nod to their new journey together, and Benny’s record-breaking travels.

Passport stamps showing the short runway from their first meeting to setting a date for their wedding. Zanbeni shared her story of how she was healed after a traumatic experience with a stalker when she was 13.

“My parents trusted me, and told me, ‘You’re mature enough to decide who to marry. And definitely you will hear from God.’”

The couple did.

Secret childhood trauma

Theirs seemed like a match made in heaven.

Four months after their WhatsApp chat, on Benny’s 41st birthday in August, Zanbeni became his partner in life and music ministry. Benny is holding the 20-string harp/bongo guitar he designed, while Zanbeni holds a panflute that her husband also plays.

“I couldn’t play an instrument, and he couldn’t sing,” said Zanbeni, who subsequently learnt to sing in Indian dialects that she could not speak.

It made her an Internet darling as videos of the “Naga lady” singing in Tamil went viral. (Her video below has close to 1 million views.)

But like many newlyweds, they went through a process of adjusting to each other, especially after living independently for so long.

Their disagreements were “nothing major”, said Zanbeni.

“But I could get so angry that I’d start hitting myself. I don’t know where that came from. I had never seen myself so angry in my life.”

Her disproportionate rage threatened to tear their marriage apart.

Then she realised it stemmed from a deeper childhood trauma: “I had been suppressing my anger for so many years. Then when I found somebody I was so comfortable with that I could be just myself, the lid loosened.”

They were in Singapore when she told him what had happened when she was seven years old, and again when she was 13.

“At that time, I was still getting to know him, and he was not very good at assuring me. I had no idea what his response would be.

“There was some fear, but I was willing to be open to the consequences of telling him.”

Raped at 7 and 13

With trepidation, Zanbeni revealed to her husband that she was sexually assaulted when she was just seven years old.

“I wasn’t sure what was really happening to me, but I knew something was wrong. And I never shared it with anyone.”

She was raped again when she was 13 – this time by someone known to a neighbour.

Traumatised, young Zanbeni, who as a child dreamt of being a doctor, “lost all hope, joy and purpose to live”.

“Waking up every morning was meaningless. There was nothing I looked forward to. I only did things for the sake of living.”

She had told no one about the two rapes.

Shortly afterwards, she was traumatised by a third man – a drug addict – who had been stalking her. She refused to leave home for six years.

It had not occurred to Zanbeni to tell her husband about the assaults “because I thought I had been healed”.

“It wasn’t that I was trying to hide those incidents from him,” she said.

Letting go of the past

After Zanbeni told Benny what she had never shared with anyone else, he was quiet for some time.

Then he spoke.

“He told me, ‘Past is past. I look at your present and our future together.’

“It was a huge relief,” said Zanbeni. She had been afraid that the revelation would tear them apart but, instead, it brought them closer together.

“I told Benny, ‘I need help. I don’t want to go on in our marriage and in my life, struggling with this.’”

She sought help from a Singapore Christian couple who had taught healing and deliverance as part of a missionary training course in Bangalore.

(Below, Zanbeni and Benny performing in Singapore eight months after they got married.)

Zanbeni and Benny during their visit to Singapore in May 2023. Photo by Gemma Koh.

“They helped me realise that all this anger was coming from my past experiences. I had suppressed all the pain and anger, keeping it to myself.

“Through prayer and counselling, this couple revealed to me how I had suppressed my anger towards the three men. They also helped me to release forgiveness towards them.”

“Why do you look so joyful?”

Benny encouraged to Zanbeni to tell her parents about her childhood trauma and to also share her story to bring hope to young girls in similar situations.

“God has healed me, so I am able to share my story,” Zanbeni said simply.

“Girls from 11 to 20 years old have come up to me afterwards to say, ‘I’ve been through that. Can you pray with me?’

“They also ask, ‘If you have been through so much trauma, how are you able to smile, and why do you look so joyful?’”

Often, Zanbeni is the first and only person these girls have opened up to. She sits and prays with them – and connects them with welfare organisations that can help them heal.

She advises victims of sexual assault: “Talk about what you are going through – not with everybody, but with someone you can trust – tell them if you need help.

“Tell Jesus too.”

She added: “I surrendered the pain of what I had been through to God, and I believed that He would restore my life.

“He gave me so much peace and assurance that helped me to move on with my life. And truly, He has brought breakthroughs in my life.”

Check back soon for Part 2 of this story on how Zanbeni got over her fear of leaving home to sing before audiences around the world. This story first appeared in Stories of Hope.

RELATED STORIES:

“Even though you are called useless and worthless, I want you,” God told musician who would go on to play for Presidents

Breaking the silence: A foreign domestic worker and rape survivor’s story of healing

Breaking the silence: A foreign domestic worker and rape survivor’s story of healing