It’s an unspoken, taboo topic in Christian circles, yet sadly, statistics show that believers are not immune to the D-word.

In data from the Department of Statistic, just released two days ago (July 28), Singapore’s divorce rate hit a 20-year high last year. Altogether 7,623 couples divorced or annulled their marriages in 2019, a 4% increase from the year before.

The hard-hitting topic of divorce will be the focus of Salt&Light’s brand-new talk show on Zoom, Salt&Light Family Night, in its launch episode on Tuesday, August 4, at 9pm.

“We chose to make family the focus of Salt&Light’s first talk show series because the concept of family is clearly close to God‘s heart,” said Edric Sng, CEO of Salt&Light.

“Even our relationship with Him is defined by familial terms – He is our Father, we are His children – while the second coming of Jesus is painted in terms of our being the bride to the coming groom.

“Strong, godly families are the bedrock of a strong, godly church.

“We hope that Salt&Light Family Night will provide pastoral, practical advice for everyone looking to do marriage and parenting God’s way.”

Added Juleen Shaw, Salt&Light’s managing editor: “Even the best of families are complex – we see that even with the families of biblical faith heroes like Abraham and David – much less ordinary families like ours. 

“We hope that Salt&Light Family Night will be a safe and helpful space for mothers and fathers, husbands and wives, grandparents and children, to share with, learn from and edify each other.”

Family champions

The talk show will be hosted by family champions Carol Loi, 49, and Alex Tee, 42.

Loi, a mother of two teenaged girls, worked at the Ministry of Education before setting up Village Consultancy as a digital literacy educator. She is a familiar figure in parenting circles. Even before the Circuit Breaker made webinars all the rage, Loi has been hosting popular Zoom chats on issues families grapple with.

“We take it for granted that things should just work once we have a family, that we will automatically know what to do. That’s not true,” said Loi.

“A Zoom talk show is a new way to support families by moving online and having a more personal connection with families.

Loi with daughters Gillian and Nicole, and husband Albert Soh. Photo courtesy of Carol Loi.

“Technology allows us to connect with people we couldn’t otherwise connect with. These are the people who previously wouldn’t have the time to attend physical sessions or the inclination to read an article, but might be willing to hear real stories and interact with people on topics close to their hearts.”

Loi is also a leadership and family coach, and a John Maxwell Certified Trainer for leadership and communication skills.

Loi knows, first hand, how vital community support can be in raising strong families. She came back to the faith when she was pregnant with her second child and in search of support from other mums.

“I was heavily pregnant and it was tough to be a mother. I went to a mission school, was raised in a Christian family, but I had backslidden for 15 years.

“I thought: Maybe I should have an anchor.”

She returned to church and found her community there. Three years later, her husband accepted Christianity.

“I had a dad’s Bible for him and would leave him messages in the Bible and pray for him,” she recalled.

“I think slowly he saw my transformation over time. With my first child, I suffered from depression. I was more peaceful with my second child.”

Because of her personal journey as a mother, Loi is always looking to “see what I can do to support other families”.

“God never gives us information just for us alone but also to serve others.”

Fighting for the family 

Loi’s co-host on Salt&Light Family Night, Alex Tee, is a former banker who left the corporate world to home-school his three children aged eight, seven and five. Tee grew up with a loving, engaged father.

“I was a priority to my father and had a wonderful relationship with him through my teenage years,” said Tee.

The Tees enjoying the outdoors pre-COVID-19. Creating happy memories at Saturday breakfasts and Sunday blessings is part of their family tradition. Photo courtesy of Alex Tee.

His memories of catching frogs and badminton games with his dad, and riding pillion on his dad’s motorbike, are some of his fondest childhood memories.

As a father now, he strives to make happy memories for his children as well.

“Our family tradition is to have roti prata breakfasts on Saturdays and saying a blessing over the children on Sundays,” said Tee.

His father’s love “made up for my parents’ tumultuous marriage and an emotionally disengaged mother who herself grew up in a dysfunctional family”.

His upbringing and his experience as a home-schooling father have strengthened his conviction that “families are precious”.

“Our society, city and churches are only as strong as the families represented therein. It’s probably the only institution where benevolent authority and true intimacy are possible.

“And where it is present, the possibilities to serve the common good are tremendous. Yet the family is also under assault, and we need to fight for it.”

Salt&Light Family Night will run on alternate Tuesdays at 9pm on Zoom. Pre-registration is required.

Click here to register for the inaugural August 4 episode: “What if I’m thinking of divorce?”