The beauty of forgiveness in the Sammi Cheng/Andy Hui drama
by Rachel Phua // April 22, 2019, 12:20 pm
Days after news broke about a cheating scandal involving her husband, Cantopop superstar Sammi Cheng put up a post on Instagram stating that she forgave her husband as she referred to a Bible verse for her decision. Photos from Sammi Cheng and Andy Hui's Instagram pages.
Most of us would have heard it by now: An infidelity scandal involving two Cantopop stars, Sammi Cheng and Andy Hui, after a video of Hui kissing actress Jacqueline Wong in a taxi went public.
Days after the media frenzy, Cheng posted a statement on her Instagram account to say that she forgave her husband. A believer, she quoted the verse 1 Corinthians 13:7, and wrote that marriage is hard work, but they will take this time to grow as husband and wife.
With her forgiveness, Cheng breathes new life into a relationship which man insists on pronouncing dead.
All of us crave intimacy (Genesis 2:18) – when we bare our souls to someone else without shame, and our vulnerability is treated with respect and affection, a relationship grows stronger.
So it wrecks our heart when we hear of a marriage mangled.
In Cheng’s shoes, we may choose to forgive our spouse too, no matter how hard. We want to practise what has been preached to us – extend inexhaustible mercy (Matthew 18:22), through the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-5), even to those who hurt us (Luke 6:27), because Christ did the same for us (Colossians 2:13).
But it can end up as a robotic, intellectual exercise if we don’t appreciate the process of forgiveness itself.
Why is forgiveness so powerful?
1. Forgiveness reflects our Father’s heart
I’m reminded of the story of the Prodigal Son. It is a tearjerker. But what if, after the son got comfortable back home, he returned to his old ways. He might become lazy. He might treat the servants as if he were a little prince. He might squander more wealth.
Because growth isn’t overnight.
My guess is, a compassionate father like his would still let him stay at home, forgiving him over and over again (Ephesians 4:32).
At the same time, this father would work at the relationship. He communicated. Found out how he could do better as a dad. Exposed his own weaknesses to gain his child’s trust.
2. Forgiveness can spur transformation
With a God-given conscience, the son may start to feel ashamed for his behaviour, or touched by his father’s tenderness.
He metamorphosises into a new person (2 Corinthians 5:17) and puts in the effort to treasure the unconditional love he is given.
Cheng didn’t do just what is right. By giving Hui a second chance, she is paving the way to a time where she and her husband begin to know each other better, learn to be more communicative, begin a cycle of developing deeper intimacy. The relationship, repaired, could emerge stronger.
3. Forgiveness brings the dead to life
But with her forgiveness, Cheng breathed new life into a relationship which man insists on pronouncing dead.
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這次 ,是我們婚姻中共同重要的一課。這段期間, 我們共同經歷情緒起伏, 我們也就事件詳談很久很深 . 這是夫妻二人之間的一課, 也是往後婚姻路上學習到的一課. 我們在婚姻中走進更深處, 婚姻當中除了彼此給予的幸福溫暖, 當中也深深包含了彼此的錯誤和彼此的原諒. 人誰無過是老生常談,但事實確是如此啊。 在這次中, 重要的, 是更進一步身歷婚姻其中真諦. 幸福不只是一埸埸順利美滿,當中也有試煉, 也一起去經歷高低狀況,讓夫妻之間的感情厚度帶領著前行, 更要彼此走進對方的內心, 一起正視各自的軟弱, 不放棄自己, 不放棄對方,互相糾正, 互相提點, 在婚姻歴煉中, 我深信經歷和教訓一定會幫助重回正軌, 生命更會更生. 這期間在我們彼此都最難捱的時刻, 握著手一起祈禱, 對我們的幫助極大. 今天, 肩上的重擔彷彿輕了很多. 只願一切快平息, 回歸平靜. 最後摯誠請求各大傳媒不要再等候和追訪我年紀老邁行動不便的父母. 沒有更多想表達了,今天以後,就只向前看, 在時間的見證中,繼續一步步前行. ❤️
It’s a timely reminder. Just like on Good Friday, death was supposed to be the end for a man named Jesus.
Instead, on Easter – Resurrection Sunday – we saw the power of forgiveness, where because Jesus hung on the Cross on our behalf, we are given infinite opportunities to build a relationship with Him.
No matter how many mistakes we make, we will still be loved and presented with blessing after blessing (John 1:16).
It’s beautiful that this ultimate form of Christlikeness is what Cheng is trying to emulate.